Friday, August 27, 2010

Late Night Randomness

Instead of being out somewhere, having a life, I am at home working on a paper for Monday. In case you are wondering: YES my professor assigned a paper on Day One. On top of that, my professor that teaches my Thursday night class has the thickest accent ever. And did I mention that is an advanced business math class? *le sigh* It's gonna be a long semester. Surprisingly though, I feel pretty good about it. I just know I'm gonna have to put in work. But I'm taking a break for a second because I have too much randomness floating around in my head.









The shirt & I, when we both loved each other a little more...

Today I committed a crime against big girl fashion. I wore a shirt that was really too snug. It was from my New York & Company phase, which truthfully was about two sizes ago. But in my defense, my boobs look GREAT in that top, and with the pants I had on, it gave the illusion of having a nice lil booty back there. However, it was not flattering to the tummy :( I vow to give it away, along with a few other tops and skirts from the NY&Co. era... To my fellow big girls (or at least, the ones to have their stuff together appearance-wise), I apologize. I'll be on my A game from now on except for when I just really don't care!

If I have a girl, I'm not gonna have everything decorated in pink.
I like the color and all, but ever since I heard one of the supposed reasons behind why blue is for boys & pink is for girls, I've been kinda turned off from the idea. There are many explanations and speculations about how this tradition came about. The one I heard was that in ancient Greece, the color blue represented the gods. Since it was assumed that the boys would grow to be great men and warriors, parents wrapped them in blue to incur the favor of the gods. On the other hand, girls were seen as inferior. So they were wrapped in pink rags--clothing that was once red and worn by the elite. Once they faded pink, the clothes, like the girls they swaddled, were deemed worthless.
Now, being somewhat of a feminista (I like that term better than feminist; it's.... softer, not as off-putting) this just doesn't sit well with me. Even though no one chooses these colors now for that reason--and who even knows if that is the reason--I still don't like it. So if you buy little Naomi Elaine something, try to find something blue. Or purple. She'll definitely like purple. ^_^

I wonder if there is some kind of karma repair. I mean, you can get your credit cleaned up no matter how slaw it is. The Universe must have something like that for karma... I think I need it. My actions from my first serious relationship are still biting me in the butt. Not fair, but I did mess up pretty bad. But the same thing has happened so much that I think I may have done some kinda permanent damage. I want to talk to a priest at the new Hindu temple in Brandon about it, but I'm sure he or she would laugh me out of the building...

The American home is shrinking - and gaining appliances


By Les Christie, staff writer August 26, 2010

The American home is shrinking. Toll the bell for the McMansion.

After years of growth, the Census Bureau recently reported that median new home size fell to 2,135 square feet in 2009 after peaking at more than 2,300 earlier in the decade.

“Home buyers are asking for less, cutting back on options and reducing square footage,” said Steven Pace of the North Carolina-based Pace Development Group, which builds both custom and tract houses ranging in price from below $250,000 to more than $2 million.

“They’re saying, ‘Maybe we don’t need that 5,000 square footage;” he said. “‘Maybe our bath doesn’t need to be big enough for our whole family and all our neighbors to take a shower at the same time.’”

Kermit Baker, chief economist for the American Institute of Architects, pointed out that consumers don’t ask for as much for spaces devoted to single purposes, such as media rooms for watching videos and game rooms for shooting pool. Instead, the requests are for rooms with shared uses.

(full article on CNNMoney.com)

As a buyer, would you be willing to go for a home that is not as large if it has the proper amenities/appliances? (If so, what would the “proper amenities/appliances” be?) Sellers, is your home a “McMansion,” a smaller home loaded with appliances, or somewhere in between? Agents, what trends have you noticed in your area?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

PIX! (Because I don't feel like writing)

I am super lazy today. And since I'm already having to exert energy I don't have on a paper for class Monday (yes, a paper already), I figured I'd just hit y'all with a bunch of pix. Wanna see 'em? Here they go:









twist-out from the beginning of the month










Result of a braid-out. My hair was super soft and big that day!










I realized that Miss Jessie's I bought works best for me when I do my puff.










I did a roller set about two weeks ago. I didn't care for how poofy it was...










but i think i should've just pinned both sides because I love this.










roller set: side view










roller set: back










after I played around in/picked out my roller set










twist-out. really i wanted to show off my freshly waxed brows (my first time!) & makeup attempt










2nd day twist outs are the best! (i know it's blurry, but the hair still looks great so...)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Planning My Life Around Myself

My last semester of grad school has started... and as usual, I'm not feeling it. Truthfully, I've felt like grad school was a mistake from the beginning. But I did it because it was part of "the plan" that my ex and I came up with. Do this little academic stint, then have the life we wanted together after I did my time. Now I'm sitting here wondering what changes for the better (or worse) would have come about if I'd followed my heart & mind and gone to Texas or Georgia like I planned when I planned.

Maybe I'd be married already.
Maybe I'd have gone straight into real estate and been super successful by now.
Or maybe I'd be broke and halfway crazy, crashing on a someone's couch. Who knows...

It's really futile to go over the shoulda, coulda, wouldas at this point. However, I find myself doing just that from time to time. And while I think it's incredibly sad that I let myself get so wrapped up in someone else that I neglected what I wanted & needed, it is a reminder to not put my needs on the backburner. Selfish? Yeah, I guess so. But why plan and live my life for people who may not even be around to see those plans come into fruition?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Randomness: "F*ck You!"

I've finally heard Cee-lo's new song, and I LOVE IT! I've never heard an emotional i-hate-you love song that made me wanna smile & dance like this one. I caught myself humming it in church today after someone came in that reminded me of an ex LOL



I'm working on changing the words around to fit me :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

A Natural Newbie How-To Guide












[caption id="attachment_1795" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="So I'm natural... now what?"][/caption]

This post is a collaboration of two 31BNB challenges: Day 9 & 19.

Previously, I mentioned that I had no idea what I would write a how-to on because I am just learning "how to" myself when it comes to hair. In the comments I got a suggestion from Kimberlee Stiens:
Maybe you could write a how-to about newbie natural mistakes to avoid? Or products that are terrible? Or maybe dealing with reactions from friends/loved ones?

http://businessforgoodnotevil.blogspot.com/

So here I am fulfilling the day 19 challenge (Turn a comment into a blog post) and going back to day 9 to do a how-to.This is a how-to on avoiding (most) natural newbie mistakes. Of course, with everything that you start new, you are bound to make some mistakes. My mistake so far besides doing the BC while tipsy has been slacking in the moisturizing/conditioning department. But the thing is, you want to avoid as many mistakes as possible, especially those that can be damaging long-term. After all, the reason that most folks go natural is because they want healthy hair. So let's see what we can do to avoid being counterproductive to that!

1. Don't expect your hair to do the same things it did when it was relaxed.
I'm used to having long tresses that did exactly what I wanted it to do. Since going natural, my hair rebels and does it's own thing. And I'm learning that it's okay! Don't look for your hair to do the same things it did when permed (or even while transitioning), or to react the same way to products you once used. Sure, they may still work the same and have the same effect, but be aware of the possibility that they may not.

2. Do your homework.
Thanks to the "interwebs" there is a wealth of knowledge out there. From styling to the science behind your hair, there are articles, blogs, YouTube videos, books, you name it! Empower yourself with knowledge. A word of caution, though: not everyone knows what they are talking about, and it seems like everyone on  the web considers themselves an expert. Do your due diligence to find out what's legitimate and works for you.

3. Know your limits.
Some things are better left to the professionals. As bad as I want some color in my hair right now, I'm not trying to do it myself because I know that I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm going to a salon tomorrow to get my ends trimmed because I don't have the tools or knowledge to do it properly. What I'm saying is, know what you can & can't do. Sure, you should learn your hair and how to take care of it. Know your limits, that's all I'm saying.

4. Figure out your hair type and what works well for it.
More than likely you'll have a couple different types of hair on your head, so you'll have to learn to make things work for each type. This is another area where it may be beneficial to consult a professional (if they know anything about natural hair--many don't). How do you determine the type of hair you have? The most common method is one popularized by Oprah's stylist Andre. It categorizes hair into type I-IV and then further into a,b, or c. I really like this page at curlz.biz that explains the various hair types.
There is also the LOIS hair system.

So that's my little how-to guide on avoiding natural (hair) disaster as a newbie. Any other tips or advice, feel free to comment!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

"Wake Up Everybody"

From mymoodismusic.com:
The Roots, Melanie Fiona, Common and John Jegend release the video for their collaboration, “Wake Up Everybody”. You can find this song on The Roots and John Legend joint project, “Wake up!”

This is a great video & an awesome cover!

 




Naturals in Advertising (31BNB, Day 17)

You know what amazes me? Even before I knew of the "natural movement" or knew anyone personally who had natural hair, I saw incredible images of black women rocking their natural hair. Where? In ads! Whether print, television, or online, natural hair seems like it's more accepted than relaxed hair (at least, from the images shown). Of course, most of the women in these ads have the kinda corkscrew coils that most see as favorable... but still, natural is natural.

So from time to time I want to share images/video of women rocking natural hair in advertisement. Let's see just how much I can find... We may not even realize how often we see naturalistas doing their thing!









on Regions Bank's website today










Lane Bryant model










on clorox.com

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

5 Inexpensive Staging Tips

by Cristen Conger

 (full article here)

5. Replace Hardware
It’s amazing how small adjustments can make huge differences. Focus especially on the handles and knobs in the kitchen and at entranceways. The kitchen is a primary focal point of the house and is often the most important room to prospective buyers. Changing out the hardware and lighting switch plates is a quick, inexpensive update. Also inspect the doorknob and knocker at the front door. Oxidized hardware should be buffed to a shine or replaced, since it makes for a poor first impression.

4. Let the Light In
Brightening up a house can work wonders for its size and charm. According to a survey conducted by HomeGain.com, lighting up a room typically costs less than $400 and adds a $1,500 boost to the final sale price of a house. To take advantage of this enlightening idea, start by scrubbing the windows, frames and screens. Next, get rid of dark window treatments and replace them with more transparent materials. Some windows may even look fine if they’re left bare.

3. Paint
A simple and relatively cheap method for enlarging a room is adding a fresh coat of paint to the walls. Trading out a dark tone for a neutral beige or cream can transform a space. Home-staging experts state that home owners can recoup the cost of a tasteful paint job — and then some — in the final sale price.

2. Spruce up the Yard
Scorched grass, overgrown hedges and bare flower beds don’t bode well for what’s inside the house and may deter people from ever crossing the threshold. A 2007 report from Remodeling Magazine found that minor landscaping has a 100 percent return on investment. Even if you don’t have time to repair grass or grow a healthy garden, mulch and potted plants can serve as more attractive substitutes. Patios and decks should be cleaned and prepped as if you’re throwing a neighborhood barbecue.

1. Clear Out Clutter
Cleaning and decluttering involves more than just sorting out and throwing away old mail and newspapers. Closets should be emptied out and organized to showcase their storage space. Remove knickknacks and dust collectors from shelves and display areas. Even living room furniture should be edited down to a few major pieces that leave plenty of open space for traffic flow. When organizing your remaining decor, think in odd numbers; clusters of three and five pieces are ideal for creating vignettes, or designed areas within a room. What isn’t thrown away should go into storage boxes and put into a rental space if necessary. In addition, every conceivable surface in the house should get a scrub down.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

31BNB: Days 12-15

As you may or may not know from my sporadic posts, I am participating in bloggingforbranding.com's 31 Days to a Brand New Blog Challenge. Once again, I am playing catch up. (Days 16 & 17 coming later today or tomorrow with 18)

Day 12: Get Business Cards for your Blog
I considered this a while back, but never followed through on it. I came up with a really cute design, though. Two, actually (one for this blog and one for The Eclectic) but I'll probably only get the cards for this site. My soror/naturalista/fellow blogger L. Michelle from My Hair...Is Me mentioned that she hands her cards out when people ask about her hair or when she meets other people with natural hair. Shoot, a business card would've been handy when I met the next person I'll be featuring. (Interview coming soon, I promise!) Sooo yeah, I'll be getting that taken care of.

Day 13: Promote Your Blog on Twitter
Finally ahead of the curve on something! I promote two of my personal blogs on my "personal" twitter account, and my business blog on my "professional" account. (One of my blogs is semi-anonymous so people just happen to stumble across it...)

Day 14: Add/Remove Widgets
I don't know how! Okay, I take that back, I know how. But my blogroll has turned into a monster, so I'm trying to figure out how to arrange that... Some other things will probably get the boot as well, so this little site will look a bit different. And it won't be long!

Day 15: Assess Your Blog's Progress
7 posts since August 1 (not counting this one).
8 comments (not counting my own)
71 visitors.
Not sure of the exact numbers of new subscribers (I want to say 4?), but I do know that it has gone up. (BTW: hello and thanks for following! Feel free to comment, follow me on twitter, or drop me an email!)
When comparing this blog with the ones that I am not doing the 31BNB for, I can tell a difference in the bounce rate, time on the site, page visits... Basically, people are reading this blog as opposed to scanning the others. I don't know if it's because others who are a part of this challenge are visiting or because this blog is more focused while the other personal blog is as random as I am. The business blog is hard for me to get going, I admit, so I'm not too surprised that it has the highest bounce rate. Overall, I'm pretty happy with the progress so far. I don't have Google Analytics info to compare last month, but I know I wasn't getting this much traffic and comments from readers. Hopefully it will keep up even after 31BNB!

The grass always looks greener....

Seems like no matter what you're born with, you always want other features.

Many (not all, of course) dark skinned women wish for "fairer" skin, sometimes even resorting to deadly methods to get it.
Meanwhile, our white counterparts risk skin cancer to be darker.
People pay big money to get the full lips and hips and booty, while I'm sure many of us at some point wanted to trade it all after some form of ridicule.

We straighten our hair in attempts to look more "mainstream."
Then others do this:



The grass always looks greener on the other side, eh?

Thanks to KinkyCurlyQueen on Naturally Obsessed for posting this. I'd never heard of/seen "afro perms" before.

...and the madness continues...

Young Man Gunned Down for Glasses in Detroit



Updated: Monday, 16 Aug 2010, 11:27 PM EDT
Published : Monday, 16 Aug 2010, 11:27 PM EDT
By SIMON SHAYKHET
myFOXDetroit.com

DETROIT - He was an accomplished athlete with a promising future, but a gunshot ended it all. A young man was killed while leaving a club in Detroit; gunned down over a pair of glasses.
Detroit Police say whether they are real or just knock-offs, you can loose your life over Cartier shades.
...

Miller was leaving a Detroit nightclub early Sunday morning. That is when Ford says her son was shot in the back. It was over a $2,400 pair of sunglasses that he refused to give up.

Miller had worked to pay for the Cartier shades and the killer took them after pulling the trigger.
"I never thought in a million years... that my brother would be the one to get killed over some glasses," said Latoreya Till, the victim's sister.

I'm not even going to say anything. It's the same tragic, confused commentary/question that are asked with every senseless act of violence and every display of the lack of humanity people display toward one another.
Prayers for this young man's family and friends.

Monday, August 16, 2010

"All In" (a partial poem)

Since I haven't shared any poetry in a minute, I figured I'd give y'all a little bit of what I've been working on.

part of a poem inspired months ago by a conversation with HWHadNT

I wanna be all in.
I want to love you like my first love
When I wasn't afraid of being hurt
And I gave my all.
Now memories of the past
Have me holding back
But baby believe me when I say
I wanna be all in.
I want that completely exhilarated emotion again
Without fear
Without doubt
I admit, I've been holding out
But trust, I want to change that.
I want that giddy love again,
The so-happy-it's-silly love
The I'm good long as you're with me love.
I wanna be all in...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Quote of the Day

Taken from a Soror on Facebook (thanks Dana!)

 

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.


Double Standards

There are certain double standards that people might as well get used to. It would take a MAJOR paradigm shift for them to change.

A promiscuous woman will pretty much always be seen as a whore; a promiscuous man is seen (by most people) as just doing what a man does.

If a woman messes around with other women for a period of time she can claim she was "experimenting" or "curious," and a lot of people will accept that. If a man messes with another man even once, he will forever be labeled "gay" by some people.

White people should not ever use the word nigger/nigga/nig/othervariationhere, even though they may hear Black people use it.

*shrugs* That's pretty much the way it is. Which is why I can't understand why most some whites feel they should be able to use it. Latest case in point: Dr. Laura.

From theblacksnob.com:
Dayum. Why y'all got to be so sensitive? We have a black president now. Don't you know that because of Obama the N-word isn't bad anymore?
I mean, why would the N-word, something that was used for hundreds of years to belittle and dehumanize black people, be BAD now? Yet when fancy entertainment-based black on the HBO people use the word it's all "look at how hip and edgy I am." Why can't Dr. Laura be hip and edgy when she uses it too? It's almost like black people use the word as a way to take the power back from it being hurtful and twist into some ironic parody. God. THAT IS SO CONFUSING to Dr. Laura. It's like when Dr. Laura watches "GoodFellas" she wonders why the Italians and Irish mobsters can call each other WOPs, micks and guineas, but if she did the same they would shoot her. Or how gays will adopt the words queer and fag. What's up with that? Those are Dr. Laura's words! You can't just take them and switch 'em up for your own use! It's almost like different cultures appropriate words created to hurt them, then fling them around as a humorous commentary on society's prejudices. That's sooo not fair.

If you missed her nigger-filled exchange (with a black woman who called in for advice on how to handle racially insensitive comments from her white husband's family/friends) you can listen & read a partial transcript here.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Unlikely Inspiration

I've been carrying these pictures in my phone since January and haven't posted them yet!

The last time (or time before last) I went to the salon, I was sitting under the dryer thumbing through a magazine. I think it was American Salon or something like that... I dunno. Anyway, as I was going through, there was a series of photos that caught my eye. These two were the most stunning:

 

I love these looks! From what I can remember (and my memory is a bit hazy... after all, this was seven months ago) the style is basically a very high ponytail that has been combed/brushed forward, then tucked & pinned under. The second pic is a variation of the same style, with the ponytail veering slightly to the side to give it a more angular look.

As soon as I saw this, I envisioned myself with this hairstyle--with poofy natural hair, of course. I think the texture and thickness of my hair would take this to the next level! Although I like the hair in the pictures, I think it looks a little too flat. A bit more volume, some banging earrings, & some smokey eyes... Mississippi couldn't handle me! LOL

Unfortunately I'll have to wait a while (years maybe? OMG Imma cry) until my hair is long enough for this. But if any readers or other natural bloggers try this style out, please send pix! I'd love to show off how this already gorgeous style looks once you put that natural twist to it!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Tori D.'s Guide to Interviews & Job Fairs










It was hard as heck trying to find a picture of "black professionals."
What are you trying to say, Google?

As part of my 8-to-5 torture that sponsors my not-so-lavish lifestyle job, I occasionally participate in state-sponsored job fairs. While I am not happy with the idea of saying the same thing over and over almost non-stop for hours, it is a much welcomed break from sitting here banging my head on the desk.

It also gives me renewed determination concerning the nonprofits that I want to start. There are so many people who don't have the first clue about how to present themselves. One of my goals is to provide help for those who may not have had the opportunity to go to college career centers or didn't have family/friends/mentors to give them the Dos & Don'ts  of seeking an interview. Although I don't have the resources to do that now, I do have this forum to share some tips. I wish I could still get to my tweets from the job fair I worked several months ago, but of course Twitter makes it pretty much impossible to go back that far. Soooo here we go:

1. Dress like you expect a job.
I swear I've seen it all: pajamas, club clothes, dirty tattered tshirts, sagging jeans showing almost the whole ass... all of this at job fairs. I think most people just see job fairs as an expo of businesses that are in the area, not realizing that this is more or less a "pre-interview." (And for some, interviews are done on the spot.) Would you go to an interview half naked or with rollers in your hair? Okay, you might, but you certainly shouldn't! And while it is true that some companies have a more laid back culture, the first impression is a lasting impression. For an interview, you can sorta find out how the company culture is and determine whether a suit or "dressy casual" (nice slacks/skirt, button down for guys, blouse that doesn't reveal too much cleavage for women, dress shoes) is appropriate. For job fairs, it's best to err on the side of caution and pull out a suit (or at least shirt & tie for guys). And I know everyone may not have money for top of the line, name brand business attire. Neither do I! But JCPenney, Belk, and [your local department store] are forever having clearance sales. Take the money that you would spend otherwise on one club outfit, shoes, a fake purse & weave and invest in yourself.

2. Leave your "game" at home.
Hitting on the recruiters will not land you a job, unless they are really sleazy and hard up. More than likely, it will get you mentally written off. Who wants to be responsible for a possible sexual harassment issue later on down the line, especially when the signs were there from jump? Save the comments about lips, legs, breast, booty, etc. In fact, just save any comments about appearance. Unless you're complimenting the shoes. :)

3. Bathe & brush your teeth!
Okay, this shouldn't be just for interviews and job fairs, clearly. But if there were eeeever a time not to be smelling like onions, feet & sweaty sex, this is it. Not really a whole lot more to say about that...

4. Have some questions ready to ask, and think of answers to common interview questions.
Usually for job fairs, there is a list of the employers that will be in attendance. Select a few that you are interested in and learn a little bit about those companies. Then, when you're speaking with a recruiter, you can sound informed when discussion who they are and what they do. Asking "What dis do?" or "Who y'all is?" is a dead give-away that you have done zero preparation. You should, however, have some type of questions in mind. I usually go for questions concerning advancement opportunities, lateral moves, something to show that I'm thinking long-term with the company.

5. Cover up the tattoos.
I know that these days, most people have tats. In fact, I have one and plan to get more. But an employer will never see them, because a lot of people still view tattoos negatively. If you have visible tattoos, like on your neck and hands, consider using a product like TattooCamo when going to an interview/job fair. Of course, once you're hired, you may or may not have to keep tattoos covered up. I believe this is especially true in the medical field. After all, I don't want a nurse coming at me with a need in a hand that has a skull on it. (And yes, I've had an applicant with a skull tat on the hand say she was interested in nursing.)

6. Be prepared to tell what you're interested in and what your qualifications are.
Don't assume that a recruiter at a job fair will rattle off every position that's open and you get to just pick one. Know your skills and qualifications, and let the recruiter know what you're interested in. This will save time and paint you in a more favorable light than just saying "What could I do?" If you're going in for an interview, be sure to play up the interests and knowledge that you have relating to the specific position you've applied for.

7. Don't become belligerent with recruiters working for companies that did not hire you in the past.
More than likely, the people you encounter at job fairs had nothing to do with whether or not you got a job you previously applied for, especially if it was years ago. Jumping on someone's back yelling, "Why didn't y'all hire me?" is a sure-fire way to never be hired for a position with that company.

8. Remember your manners.
Bum rushing recruiters with questions or barraging them with a list of your qualifications without so much as a "hello" is not a good look. "Hi, how are you?" "Thank you." "Have a good day." These are little things, I know, but sometimes the littlest things can have the biggest impact. Remember to act the way your mom (hopefully) trained you.

While these tips can't guarantee you a job, they will certainly increase your chances. Don't say Tori D. never gave you anything!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Discrimination and Equal Opportunity Housing

This week in Chicago, IL., a couple and their real estate agent & broker are facing charges for violating the federal Fair Housing Act.

 According to CNN.com:
The charge alleges the Sabbias and Lowe stalled negotiations and took the property off the market after receiving a $1.7 million offer from Willborn and his wife, Peytyn — the highest offer the Sabbias had received in the two years the property was listed, according to HUD.

The Sabbias accepted the offer, but refused to sign the sales contract, according to the HUD complaint. Six days after the offer was accepted, the Willborns’ agent asked about the issue, and Lowe told her that the “‘reality” of selling the house was ‘just hitting’” Adrienne Sabbia, the complaint said. The woman said she didn’t believe that, since the house had been listed for two years, according to the complaint. …

Lowe told investigators that while he was representing the Sabbias, Daniel Sabbia told him he would prefer not to sell the home to an African-American, but added “if it was for the right price he did not care who bought the house,” the complaint said.

However, the agency “has determined that reasonable cause exists to believe that a discriminatory housing practice has occurred in this case based on race and has authorized and directed the issuance of this charge of discrimination,” according to the complaint.

 The Sabbias could be fined up to $16,000 and a judge could also award punitive damages.

 It is important for all sellers, buyers and real estate professionals to understand what their rights and responsibilities are.

For the Home Seller: As a home seller or landlord you have a responsibility and a requirement under the law not to discriminate in the sale, rental and financing of property on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin.

For the Home Seeker: You have the right to expect that housing will be available to you without discrimination or other limitations based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin.

For the Real Estate Professional: Agents in a real estate transaction are prohibited by law from discriminating on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin. A request from the home seller or landlord to act in a discriminatory manner in the sale, lease or rental cannot legally be fulfilled by the real estate professional.

 More information: What Everyone Should Know About Equal Opportunity in Housing

Realtors®  pledge to conduct business in keeping with the spirit and letter of the Code of Ethics. Article 10 of our Code of Ethics provides that “REALTORS® shall not deny equal professional services to any person for reasons of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin. REALTORS® shall not be a party to any plan or agreement to discriminate against a person or persons on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin. REALTORS®, in their real estate employment practices, shall not discriminate against any person or persons on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin.”

31BNB: OMG WHAT DAY IS THIS?! (Day 7-11)

I am playing maaaaajor catch up today. I have posts in draft on every single one of my blogs (I have four blogs, total). So today I will (briefly) try to cover the challenges that I've missed... I envy and admire those of you who are participating in 31BNB and actually doing all the challenges the day of. One day I aspire to be that focused and committed to something that doesn't involve a check!

Day 7: Self Host Your Blog
This is something that I have thought about, but for now it's still on the back burner. Right now I'm not serious enough or consistent enough for that. Plus, with the 1001 other things I'm trying to do, every penny has to be accounted for and time is a precious commodity that I just don't have enough of. (I swear, y'all get 24 hours, but I'm getting shorted like 5 hours in my day.) Anyway, once I get some room to breathe (December maybe, after I become Tori D., MBA?) this will be on the agenda. More than likely, it will involve combining my three personal blogs, getting someone to do a hot lil design/theme for me... it'll be great! If you have more immediate plans for hosting your own blog, check this bloggingforbranding.com post and video tutorial on how to do just that.

Day 8: Tweak Your Blog's Theme
Unfortunately I have to wait until I get home to do this. My work computer won't let TGHD be great! But I have an idea already in mind ^_^

Day 9: Write a How-To Post
I'm gonna have to come back to this one. I've been thinking about this since the 9th. My issue is that I really don't know how to do much of anything hair-wise! After all, this blog is not coming from a hair expert or someone who has been natural for a long time. This is a "watch the newbie" type thing. What could I say that would actually be beneficial to someone that hasn't already been posted all over the beloved interwebs?
But I'll come up with something...

Day 10: Respond to Comments
I think I'm pretty good about this (usually) but I haven't even looked at this blog since the end of last week so.... yeah, I'll get on that.

Day 11: Add a Contact Page
Darn, I started to do this the other day when I did the About page! I would've felt so far ahead of the game LOL Dah well, it's going up in a few minutes. And I expect to be contacted! Hmph!

So now I'm kinda sorta caught up..... Okay not really, I still have work to do. But know that I am getting on it!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Randomness: I visited a new church Sunday...

Well not exactly new. I attended school there up until 5th grade. I just haven't been back in forever.

Service was pretty good. A lot different from the more...uuuuuh rambunctious spirited service I'm used to, replete with a full concert, multiple offerings and amped up preachers. This service was quieter, but didn't feel dead.

A few minutes after I got in, the pastor did altar call & said he felt an unusual spirit of heaviness. He began talking about carrying the weight of the world and how God wants to relieve us of our burdens and whatnot... I sat there and cried from that point until the end of service. I didn't go to the altar though. I probably should have. The things he was saying... I felt like he was talking directly to me, but something stopped me from going and letting someone pray with me. After all, I didn't know these people. Who's to say that their prayers are any more effective than mine?

So yeah, that was that. It was refreshing to go to a service that didn't leave me feeling beaten across the head for not singing or having to cringe as someone was coerced into joining the church when their expression clearly said that's not what they wanted. Did feel a little odd being at a predominantly white church, but the atmosphere and the people were welcoming enough that it wasn't really an issue. I may have to visit again some day.

I Can't Get Off the Merry-Go-Round! (Can I?)

Last night on Twitter, as I contemplated a crazy move (trying to live off student loans this semester and quitting the full-time job so I could do real estate full time), one of the people I follow tweeted something that stayed on my mind all night and is still bothering me. @happyblackwoman tweeted:
Our addiction to having so much stuff is what keeps some ppl chained to the job from hell. One feeds the other.

*sigh* She got me told in 140 characters or less.

I admit, I am one of those people who likes to have the latest and greatest whenever possible and relatively feasible. I love having a variety of clothes, shoes and accessories to chose from even if having so much does make it a chore to get dressed in the morning. I don't shop like some people I know, but at times, with certain things (lately it's been earrings), it can be slightly excessive. And I do tend to buy things not necessarily because I need them, but because they make me feel better. The rush of finding something (especially when it's a "great deal"), the glow they seem to have when I wear/use them for the first time, the inner pat-on-the-back I give myself when someone compliments something new... I love it. Even if I do sometimes cringe in retrospect at what I've spent.

That's me; I'm a Taurus, I like nice things. That's why I work this job I can't stand and want to walk out of every day don't particularly like, and try to sell real estate, and go to grad school: So I can buy a nice house and fill it with nice things and have a nice closet filled with nice clothes...

But will it make me happy?

That was the question the New York Times posed in their article about a couple who has decided to live a minimalist lifestyle. @happyblackwoman also referenced this article in her tweets. I was amazed that two people could whittle down their belongings to just 100 personal items. Insane! But they said they were... happy. I want to say I'm not so materialistic that I can't see this being possible... but I am. I am just that materialistic. How can you be so content with nearly nothing? I understand being happy and debt-free, as the article said they now were. Shoot, I'd be happy too if I could tell Sallie Mae and Nissan to kiss my butt. But still... I need stuff! Don't I?

If nothing else, it's an interesting concept that really has me thinking.... I'm not saying I can adopt that lifestyle or cut down my belongings to 100 things... But maybe I need to start truly evaluating what is necessary, and why I feel the need to have so much stuff. (I think I know part of the answer, but I don't even wanna delve into that... who knows how far down the rabbit hole goes?) I don't know.

In the meantime, @happyblackwoman's tweets are resonating with me:

Last month, I got rid of 50% of my clothes & I don't miss any of them. It was actually freeing not to have so many choices.

I'm actually happier with less stuff.

Every time I think about buying something now, I ask myself: is this going to add anything to my life? I buy a lot less than I used to.

When we buy new clothes, it's not b/c we really need another dress, but b/c we hope it will make us beautiful.

"People are finding that their homes are full of stuff, but their lives are littered w/unfulfilled promises."

Every time I get rid of something, I think of what else I'm making room for.


Related articles/posts:
Theology of Enough
How to Live with Just 100 Things

Friday, August 6, 2010

31BNB Challenge: Day 5 & 6

Today's Yesterday's challenge was to comment on three blogs that I've never commented on before. I took it one baby step further and decided to comment on three blogs I've never even read before. I checked out bloggingforbranding.com's list of bloggers that participated in the day 4 challenge and picked the following three:

  • 5 Steps to Begin Your Nonprofit Career: chosen because I eventually plan on having two non-profits within the next 5- 10 years (maybe I've mentioned this on The Eclectic, I'm not sure).  In this post Madelyn outlines five valuable steps to kick start that. My Nonprofit Experience will definitely be a blog that I frequent, especially as the time draws closer for me to put my plan into action.

  • 3 Reasons Why I Can't Be Your Shrink: I knew from the title that this was going to be a fun post, and it was! And oddly, I could relate to it...

  • Lola Gets a Life: A List Post: Miss Lola lists her favorite things in her post, and I have to co-sign on a lot of it! Added bonus: she has beautiful natural hair! She makes mention of the Jane Carter Solution. I've never heard of that product line, but she's used the styling products. If any of you know about it/have tried it, let me know!


So there you have it! If nothing else, this 31BNB challenge has exposed me to some awesome bloggers... My blogroll is looking real fat right about now!

*I linked the blogs that I commented on & am now following as my activity for Day 6. Look at me working smarter, not harder! Now I'm all caught up!*

It's not just the hair! (#31BNB Challenge: Day 4)

day 3's challenge is the new about page... I never know what to say when talking about myself....

It's amazing that something as "trivial" as hair can bring about changes in other areas of life. No, I'm not saying my whole world has changed and I'm a brand new person after getting rid of the perm! But small changes here and there... Here are a few of the things that I've noticed are evolving along with my look.

1. PATIENCE: You cannot rush natural hair! Sometimes, like last night, I can spend 35 minutes just detangling my hair. It's tedious; it's time consuming. However, taking care of each section and making sure it's done right is well worth it. I'm learning (ever so slowly) to take my time with some things. Not everything has to be rushed. Some have to take a while to do right and to truly enjoy.

2. SELF ASSURANCE: Even though I've gotten a lot of positive comments from others regarding my new look, I still get hit with negativity and criticism. If I wasn't confident in what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and who I am, some of those comments could make me falter. In learning to defend my decision and advocate natural hair to those who think they "can't do it," I feel a little more confident when talking about other ideas and decisions that may be met with adversity.

3. MY PERSONAL STYLE: I often used my long straight hair as my sole accessory. Earrings were a maybe; necklaces were almost never even considered. Now that I'm rocking short tresses, I'm becoming a little more experimental with my jewelry as well as my makeup. Not only that, but I'm trying to take more risks as far as clothing is concerned. I'm not trying to be disingenuous to who I am and my style, but why relegate myself to the "safe" colors and styles that I have? Especially when I see cute outfits on others or put pieces together in my mind and think "I could rock that." I'm already going against the grain here with the natural hair. What's to stop me from playing with everything else a little more?

4. APPROACHABILITY: Okay, I don't know if that's quite the word I'm looking for, but it'll have to do for now. These days, I get a lot of opening lines about my hair, from men and women alike. Now that's not so new, because that happened pretty often before. However, where I used to just say "Thanks" and keep moving, I'm now eager to discuss my hair regimen, style ideas, why I went natural, etc. And I'm more apt to approach another natural haired lady to pay her compliments, ask what she does to it/uses on it, whatever. And yeah, we're just talking about hair, but it's not just the hair! That intro could lead/has lead to various networking opportunities to use to my benefit socially, professional, etc.

So, have you recognized any changes that sort of corresponded to your natural hair journey?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Pix: The Puff!

Y'all, I was seriously serving up some fierceness last night! I was headed to revival and for some reason the fro just wasn't looking right. I remembered a style that I did when I first started transitioning, and a lightbulb went off in my head. What I had was basically a relaxed poof! (Sounds like a contradiction, I know.) So I pulled my hair back, stuck what seemed like a hundred bobby pins in my hair to form a sort of crown, then doubled up my elastic headband to hold it taut. I was so pleased with the results!


And if you're wondering: yes, I was in the church foyer snapping pix. That's me, all day boo. I takes pix anywhere son! #thuglife LOL

*Dress & necklace: Lane Bryant

Monday, August 2, 2010

AT HOME LIPO PROCEDURES... ASK ME HOW!

Feeling like those extra pounds aren't going anywhere? Not really up to the challenge of hitting the gym regularly and monitoring what you eat? Want to bypass the frivolous diets that those money grubbing doctors want you to try? Call me to find out how YOU can have at home liposuction!
Chins! Tummies! Thighs! Love handles! I do it all!

FAQs:

How does it work?

First, you're loaded up on codeine. Then I make strategically placed incisions and use a vacuum cleaner medical suction device to remove that unsightly fat! Then you're stitched up by my favorite weave expert... err, ummm, I mean.....

Are you trained to do this?

Heck yeah! I've been vacuuming since I was eight, AND trimming fat off meat since I was twelve. Add them together and I got ya!

What happens to the fat you remove?

Well, there are options. We can dispose of it for a nominal fee. You can have it redistributed to another area, such as your buttocks, for much less than those cosmetic surgeons would have you pay. Or you can buy it back to use for cooking. The choice is yours!

How much will it cost?

I charge by the pound, sorta like your local deli.

Is this safe?

Of course! What you mean, "Is this safe?" You got problems with a sista trying to get her side-hustle on?! *flips table* This is that bull....

I'm just saying, if people are falling for things like this, why shouldn't I get a piece of the action?


LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles police are searching for two sisters accused of running an illegal cosmetics business that led to the death of a 22-year-old woman.

Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese said Wednesday that 53-year-old Guadalupe Viveros and her 50-year-old sister, Alejandra Viveros, did not appear for a court hearing Monday as ordered. The pair were arrested June 21 and booked for practicing medicine without a license.

Albanese says one of their customers, Mayra Contreras, died July 24, one day after being injected in the buttocks with silicone by one of the two sisters.

The cause of death has not been determined, according to the Los Angeles Times, but initial reports indicate that “Contreras died from respiratory distress.”

Police say some customers complained that fillers they were injected with hardened, and others developed infections.

Guadalupe Viveros claimed to be a physician in Mexico, but is not allowed to practice medicine in the United States. (Source)

31 BNB Challenge: Day 2

*I'm participating in Bloggingforbranding.com's 31 Days to a Brand New Blog Challenge, so for the month of August I'll be posting these in addition to my regular hair posts. Hopefully this will help me improve as a blogger and a writer. We will see!*

Yes, I know I don't have a Day 1 post. Unfortunately I didn't have Google Analytics set up until last night, so I couldn't really tell anything about the traffic that this site sees. Maybe I'll loop back around to that near the end of the month. Anyway, on to today's challenge:

Purpose Statement for The Good Hair Diaries

This blog is meant to be a tool to share not only what I learn about natural hair, but about myself on my natural hair journey. I want to discuss attitudes towards African Americans with natural hair and regimens, products & styles that do & don't work for me. I'd like to encourage discussion concerning beauty in America and Black America, with the occasional diversion for makeup or rants... I would most like this blog to be known as a place for other black women who are transitioning or who have recently transitioned to natural hair to network, share stories, encouragement, advice, etc. without fear of judgment or ridicule.