Faking It

Sunday I came across an article about the most counterfeited items of the year as well as this picture of "red bottoms." (And yes, I mean "red bottoms" not Louboutins. True Louboutins don't have to be painted red post-production! Hmph!) Couple that with seeing an obvious Coach knock-off at church and I began pondering something that has come across my mind before. Why do people bother buying knock-offs? Of course the simple answer is that they either can't afford or don't want to pay for the real thing... but who are they fooling? Are they trying to convince others that they have something that they really don't, or are they only fooling themselves? I have a few "designer" bags; not many though, and they are on the lower end of what would be considered "designer." Meanwhile, I have a ton of purses, totes, clutches, etc. that, while not high-end, are super cute. They weren't created or purchased in an attempt to make someone believe they were something that they aren't. They are just cute purses that get as many compliments as the designer bags. And as much as I want a pair of Louboutins, I could never bring myself to buy some "red bottoms" in hopes of passing them off as the real thing. Now I do have some shoes that are similar to my favorite Louboutins, sans the red sole. IMO, there's no reason to fake it. Sure, some may attribute prestige, money, and status from these designer labels... But the assumption about those that bother with fakes is the total opposite. Besides, those that know the truth can spot an imposter without even trying.

[caption id="attachment_1797" align="alignright" width="294" caption="Who ARE you?"][/caption]

But what else do we fake? Staying in an unhealthy relationship just to make others think we can keep a mate. Perping (for those unfamiliar with Black Greek life, this means pretending to be a member of an organization when in reality you are not). Pretending that your ish is together because you have a degree(s). Going into debt for bigger and better cars, clothes, homes, etc. just so people will see you keeping up with the Joneses. Creating an online persona that in no way resembles who we are offline. So often we put on about different aspects of our lives in an attempt to appear as if we've arrived in some way. Maybe it's a subconscious fear that who and what we truly are will not be enough in the eyes of others. However, if we could accept ourselves in complete authenticity--not to the point of apathy and failure to make improvements--we would find, more often than not, that others would accept us too.

Quote of the Day

Taken from a Soror on Facebook (thanks Dana!)

 

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

Doing Me

A couple days ago I was looking for little quotes to tweet to others & to get myself motivated for the day. I ran across something that has been stuck in my head:

“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your
expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and
I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it
can't be helped.”(Gestalt prayer) -Frederick Perls

I think too often we concern ourselves with others opinions, to the point where we sometimes neglect our true selves in order to not garner any unwanted attention. Why do people treat others like they have two heads or something simply because the next person's actions or lifestyle differ from theirs? Isn't variety supposed to be the spice of life and all that jazz? If there is no one way of living, it really shouldn't bother me if someone else does or thinks things that I don't particularly agree with, as long as it doesn't adversely affect me.

Lately I have come to realize that I cannot be truly happy if I'm not free to be myself. I don't know if it's growing up or the newly developed attitude of "just don't give a f**k" but I'm at the point where I'd rather let my thoughts and opinions be known instead of sitting in the background going along with others or just complying with things because "that's how it's always been done" or "that's what I was taught." I figure I can do things my way and any of three things could happen:

1. The people around me can agree with what I'm doing and possibly evaluate whether they are actually living the way they want to

 

2. People can agree with what I'm doing but continue to do things according to the status quo

 

3. People can have issues with what I'm doing, I say "f**k 'em" and continue to do me

I'm prepared to deal with either of those possibilities. Makes me no difference. What I say, do, think and feel is solely a reflection of Tori D. Anyone who doesn't like it is free to do them...

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule
of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. -Frederick Douglass