Do You Seal Your Ends?

[caption id="attachment_1489" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="pic courtesy of thankgodimnatural.wordpress.com"][/caption]

Lately when I search the web for natural hair tips, I focus more on what I can do to keep my hair healthy, not just cute styles. One thing that I've learned about is sealing my hair, particularly the ends. Of course the ends of your hair are the oldest and are more susceptible to damage and splitting. Sealing the ends of your hair won't repair splits (only thing to do then is trim those ends off) but it can add protection to healthy hair. That is because sealing helps lock moisture inside the strand. The drier the hair, the more likely it is to be damaged. And when your hair is constantly breaking due to damage/split ends, it seems that the hair is not growing. So you definitely need to take action against that.

Now don't roll your eyes and say "Great, something else to add to my routine!" Sealing your hair is not hard to do at all! I follow these simple steps, courtesy of Curly Nikki:

1. Start with wet hair.
Water is the only true form of moisture, if water is not present, neither is moisture.

2. Apply a leave-in, moisturizer or creme.
Try Direct Leave-In or your favorite water based leave-in. Avoid products that claim to moisturize, but have petroleum or mineral oil in the first five ingredients.
(Now y'all know I'm not averse to using petroleum or mineral oil--they've worked fine for me--so this is up to you. However, I use Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie. Y'all already know I love that stuff!)

3. Apply a top coat of an oil or butter.
Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, and Coconut Oil, and Raw Shea or Mango butter are all great choices and can be found in most health food stores such as Whole Foods or Trader Joes. (My personal preference is coconut oil.)(source)

 

Do you seal your ends, and if so have you been able to see a difference in the condition of your hair?

Quote of the Day: "Tips for the Trip"

Usually on fourth Sundays, I kinda zone out during the sermon. The preacher is one that I would rather not hear (we have different preachers every Sunday of the month). But yesterday was a little different, probably because the sermon related to what I'm currently dealing with. He talked about the Israelites leaving Egypt & how God didn't take them the shortest way so they could avoid danger. (Somehow in all my years of churchgoing I've never heard that, but anyway...) The preacher gave four points, or "Tips for the Trip" as the sermon was titled, but the first two are what really stuck out to me.

1. The shortest way is not always the surest way 

2. It's not the speed of the pace, it's the success of the race

I could've broken down crying at both of these. At times--a lot more recently--it seems like everyone is ahead of me. I look around and everyone is moving, buying houses, getting married, working in the career they want. Meanwhile, I seem stuck in a rut and hearing the same old cliché, "Your time is coming." It's been tempting to just jump out there and try to make something happen on my own, especially with the house issue. But I can't look at what others are doing and think I need to be doing the same (or better) because I don't know what they are facing or what they did to get where they are.

We all have a reason for being where we are now, and a season to come into all that we are meant to be, do, and have. It's a struggle to be patient, but important not to move in such a hurry that we are blind to the pitfalls. Remember the tips for the trip and listen to that little voice inside of you. It won't lead you wrong.

10 Worst First-Time Home Buyer Mistakes

Amy Fontinelle at Investopedia.com wrote a great article that highlights some of the biggest and "most costly mistakes that could put a hold on that sold sign." Here, I'll list the ten mistakes she gives and note my thoughts on them.

1. Not Knowing What You Can Afford
You should already know your budget well enough to know what you can afford, regardless of what a mortgage company tells you. While they are looking at your income and expenses, you know about your daily coffee runs (those can get expensive!) or your shoe habit. Not being firm about a price range is a recipe for house hunting heartbreak.


2. Skipping Mortgage Qualification
This is an important step that a lot of people miss! Although technically you can wait to get mortgage approval until after you place an offer, why would you? That is not the time you want any surprises. Find out up front how much your lender is willing to give you, and go from there. That way, you aren't wasting your time (not to mention your agent and the seller's time).


3. Failing to Consider Additional Expenses
There is more to owning a house than just paying the mortgage. You need to consider property taxes, maintenance expenses, possibly HOA (home owners association) fees, insurance... Don't jump at a house without taking these things into consideration.


4. Being Too Picky
I admit, as a first time home buyer myself, this is a difficult thing for me. I've seen so much that I like that it's hard to settle for less! However, you have to realize that most of the time you will have to compromise. Make a list of the things you absolutely must have (for me, I must have a 2/2) and the things you'd like to have but could live without (I love having natural light in the bathroom, but I don't necessarily need it). You may be surprised how many homes you find that fit your criteria once you identify the needs vs.  wants.


5. Lacking Vision
Some things are not worth losing a home over. Some people would walk away from what could be a perfect home because the yard is not in shape, or because they hate the wallpaper. Don't let little things deter you! Cosmetic issues can always be corrected, even if you can't do a complete renovation on move in day.


6. Being Swept Away
Again, I'm guilty. I am a huge fan of granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. However, I have to stop and ask myself whether those upgrades are worth the additional money. For example, I looked at two condos in the same neighborhood with the same layout. One had the upgrades that I wanted and I immediately fell in love. You know what I wasn't in love with? The fact that it was almost $20,000 more than the other condo. This goes back to #5. All it would take to bring the plain-Jane condo up is a little vision and a little money--which could certainly be less than $20,000.


7. Compromising on the Important Things
You know those needs that you listed in #4? They are needs for a reason! If you know you want a certain location to be in a good school district for your kids or need a yard so that your dog can run around, then make those a priority and stick with it. You can compromise on little things, but don't make a decision you will regret later simply because it's cheaper or you feel like you must make a move right now.


8. Neglecting to Inspect
It always surprises me when buyers decline to get a home inspection. When it comes to houses, everything is not always as it seems. You need to be sure that there are no major issues with the wiring, plumbing, gas main, structure, etc. The fee you pay for an inspection could be hundreds (or thousands) less than what you would have to shell out for repairs and it gives you a chance to avoid potential disaster.


9. Not Choosing to Hire an Agent or Using the Seller's Agent
The seller's agent is under a fiduciary responsibility to the seller. That means that they are obligated to work in the seller's best interest. Although agents are responsible for treating both parties fairly (and working in both parties' best interest once they become a dual agent) a buyer's best bet is to have an agent that is working strictly for them. This makes negotiations easier (as the agent isn't conflicted) and allows a buyer to have an agent guiding them during their home search.


10. Not Thinking About the Future
I completely agree with the author's suggested questions to ask yourself about your potential new neighborhood:

• What kind of development plans are in the works for your neighborhood in the future?


• Is your street likely to become a major street or a popular rush-hour shortcut?


• Will a highway be built in your backyard in five years?


• What are the zoning laws in your area?


• If there is a lot of undeveloped land? What is likely to get built there?


• Have home values in the neighborhood been declining?

Quote of the Day

I have read and heard a lot of discussion lately about love, marriage and divorce that have caused me to re-evaluate how I look at relationships. The brouhaha over Will and Jada's rumored separation yesterday was the icing on the cake. Many people seemed to think that there was no more hope for black love/black marriage/the black family. "If Will & Jada can't make it, how can weeee?" they wondered. But I was fortunate to read several comments on different sites that proved everyone hadn't lost it. My favorite basically said that all marriages end, whether by divorce or by death. People change, and sometimes those changes result in the end of a relationship. The commenter said that if his marriage ended, it wouldn't be a failed marriage, just one that had come to an end. That statement made me think of this quote, one of my favorites about love and relationships:

“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”
 - Somerset Maugham

I hope and pray that when I marry, it is forever and that we can "continue to love a changed person." But I understand that it may not work out that way. The growth and evolution that each of us undergoes throughout life may eventually take us down different paths. I'd still put in work to make the marriage last, of course; there's no excuse not to do that. But if it doesn't work out, it's okay, even though I'm sure it would still hurt like hell.

What are your thoughts on this quote or the words of the commenter?

Revamped and Refocused

Back in June, after the sale of my parents' house and their move, I took a little hiatus from real estate. I had concerns over several things and wondered if this was something I should stick with. Things were not going as planned, and I appeared to be at a standstill. However, during that brief break I was able to step back and reassess what I want out of this career and out of life period. Real estate is something that I have been interested in since my college days, and it's really too soon to give up on that dream. Instead of letting it go completely, I realized that I needed to refocus my energy and develop a plan that works for me. So I am revamping my business to reflect those changes.

Buyers Only
Although listing homes is a big part of real estate, it is not my forte. Instead, my passion is helping people find the home of their dreams. Since this is the case, I will only be working as a buyers' agent. I will also be working towards obtaining my ABR (Accredited Buyer's Representative) designation to gain even more insight on how to better serve my buyer-clients.

Real Estate Writing
This gives me an opportunity to combine two of my favorite activities. I love to write, and believe that providing useful written information will be an ideal way to connect with buyers. It also provides a potential opportunity to work with other agents, which I am excited about. This means regular updates to this blog with original content as well as freelance writing for other entities who are looking for a real estate expert.

After I progress in these areas, I will also take a look into home staging as part of a marketing offer for other agents and property management. I've realized that it is important to have some real direction and focus in this industry. After all, there is so much that can be done that it almost seems overwhelming! But now that I have a great game plan, I'm ready to play. Let's make some moves!

Call for Greek Week Submissions

Next month (September 12-16 to be exactly) I will be having Greek Week here on KinxnQuirx. I have several things that I'd like to talk about, but more importantly, I'd like to hear from some others. Fellow Greeks (and non-Greeks as well) I know you have something you'd like to get off of your chest concerning Greek life, whether it be misconceptions about what we do, why you chose your particular org, or a call to action to do more. If you have something you would like to share, send it to submissions@kinxnquirx.com. What you submit is completely up to you, and you will certainly get credit for your post. (Speaking of getting credit, be sure to include a brief bio with your submission, including a link to your own site/blog if you have one.) The deadline for submissions is September 7, 2011. By September 9 I will let you know whether your piece will be featured on KnQ. I look forward to seeing what you have to share!

My Biggest Fears as a Writer

I think no matter what you do, or how good you are at it, there is always a level of fear associated with it. Hopefully not enough to completely paralyze you, but enough to prevent you from just doing any old thing with the hopes that people accept it. When it comes to writing, I have a few fears. 3. Loss of inspiration/being a "one-hit wonder"
I don't want to have one great stand out among a shelf full of flops. Nor do I want to have only one solitary contribution to the literary world. Instead, I hope that once I make that first offering, readers will be eager for more. But we all know that's not always the case.  Of course, being a one-hit wonder is better than never having a hit at all. And in the words of OneChele, "Maybe some people have just one blast of perfection in them." I just hope I'm not one of those people.

2. Not having an interesting story to tell
This is somewhat tied to the last fear. Yanno those people who can go on and on with a story, oblivious to the fact that you just don't care? Or those folks who, no matter how you try to follow them, lose you to random thoughts and passing puppies? (Oh, am I the only one that easily distracted?) Yeah, I can't stand that. So of course I don't want to be guilty of being a bore! After reading books that I struggled to get through--and some that I unfortunately could not--the idea that my stories may not hold people and have them on the edge of their seat is a frightening one. Understandably, everyone won't be into the tales I tell. After all, people's literary tastes are different. Yet, for me, success means being able to pull people into the story, even if it is one to which they would not normally be drawn.

1. Being pigeon-holed into a particular genre
This may not be a bad thing necessarily, but I'm not comfortable with the idea. I'm currently working on an action/thriller novel, but then want to venture into romance (not likely), fantasy or sci-fi? I have a wide range of interests and I'd like my writing to reflect that. I don't want to be seen as just an author of a particular genre; I want to be recognized as a truly talented writer across all lines.

So those are my biggest fears about being a writer. The job now is to overcome them and use them as fuel to be great. For my fellow writers, what fears do you face? Have you been able to overcome them, or do you still deal with them? What advice would you give a novice like me in regards to the concerns I've expressed?