Ain't I A Woman?

“Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman?” Since joining the “real world,” Sojourner Truth’s words have resonated with me. As I child, I was taught to be self-reliant because there would be times when I could not count on anyone else. However, I was also taught to expect certain things from a gentleman: holding the door open, helping with packages if I seem overwhelmed, respect, cordiality. And when I worked mostly with other African-Americans, I received those little gestures of chivalry more often than not.

But once I entered a more diverse workforce, I noticed a shift in the attitudes and actions towards not just myself but black women as a whole. One particular incident stands out in my mind: Another woman and I were both exiting the building where I worked. One of my coworkers was walking in, but stopped to hold the door open for the white woman who was only maybe three feet ahead of me. Once she was out of the door, he looked at me and walked on in, letting the door close and nearly knocking me down. I was dumbfounded.

If that were an isolated incident, I wouldn’t have any ground for beef. But I’ve seen and experienced many incidents where black women were simply not given the same courtesy as white women, in the workplace as well as in random social situations. The perpetrators have varied in age and race, which left me even more perplexed. Those acts of geniality aren’t necessarily required, and I’ve come to not expect them either.  But I have to wonder why there is a difference between the way black women are treated versus the treatment of our white counterparts. Is it because black women are supposed to be strong enough to not need assistance? Are we considered less than worthy of such small displays of cordiality? Or is it not necessarily about us, but rather about the pedestal that many people place white women on?

My query is not a complaint, but one of simple curiosity. Even in small, somewhat trivial matters, we see a discrepancy in attitudes and actions. One hundred and sixty years later, I’m still asking the same question. “Ain’t I a woman?”

Jesus Loves Me... Even If I Don't Forward This Email

I'm not sure why, but I've never been a fan of those cutesy little forwarded emails. Not the ones about how we're all sisters so let's bask in our girl power. Not the generic forwarded prayers. Not the kittens in baskets (although the puppies and babies can get me a little misty-eyed, depending on the time of the month). It's not that I'm completely cold-hearted, they just seem like a waste of time to me. But the thing that irks me most is when people decide to send these forwards to my work email.

Why?!

There is such a thing as email etiquette, and it is especially important at work. Certain things are simply frowned upon, and for many employers, this is one of them. So if you are a forwarding fanatic, you may want to take the following precautions:

1. Don't send every forward you receive
I promise Jesus will still love you, you still love your country, and your luck will not suddenly spiral. There is no reason to flood someone's inbox with forwards. This is especially true at work, and doubly true for coworkers with whom you don't even regularly associate. Which leads me to...

2. Make sure the receiver wants your forwards
A lot of people do like the little inspirational poems and animated squirrels dancing, but there are some like me who don't. Try not to end up in someone's spam list because you decide you want to share with the whole company. At best, folks will just delete it. At worst, you could end up being reprimanded for abusing company email (depending on the policy there). But there is an easy way to avoid that...

3. Send forwards from your personal email to the receiver's personal email
If you have a couple of people who you share non-work emails with, why not get their personal emails and send them there. That way you get to maintain professionalism on your work email account (which is most likely being monitored anyway) and still share a smile with your friends. Everybody wins!

Are you guilty of being the forwarding friend or coworker? Has it ever been a problem where you work?

Tweet Week (Cont): To Follow or Not To Follow? That is the Question!

Yeah sooo, Tweet Week was last week huh? Well since I didn't get around to posting every day due to the move, I'm playing catch up this week. Who gone check me boo?! (Yes, I'm still using that.) 

[caption id="attachment_1197" align="alignright" width="300" caption=""YOU followin me? Hmmm, aight...""][/caption]

Although my Twitter gets somewhat personal at times, I leave it unlocked. (For the non-tweeters, a locked profile means you have to approve someone before they can follow you.) Mainly this is so that I can join in various discussions and have my tweets seen by others who are discussing the same even if they are not following. This doesn't really create any problems and I don't particularly mind anyone following me. However, there are three groups that make me a little uneasy when it comes to my Twitter.

Family members, coworkers, and church folks.

Why these three in particular? Well, Twitter is my little space to rant, rave and let my hair down. My Facebook page is pretty reserved by comparison, and even there I don't let coworkers add me as a friend. Twitter was my spot where I can say what I need to say and let the "real" Tori shine through, so to speak. Honestly, I don't know if many folks that "know" me could handle the real me. It's one thing to be exposed to one side of a person, but to see all of the many facets of a person (or at least the ones they choose to reveal) is a whole 'nother monster.

The last thing I need is someone trying to shame/censor my random thoughts. It's just not going to happen! There a select few friends from church and family members that I'm happy to follow and have following me. A couple of others, however, get the side-eye from me...

What about you? Are there certain people you'd rather not follow you? And do you have your page locked for that specific reason?
Since my page isn't locked, you should go ahead and follow me!