Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Justice for Trayvon

"What do you call a black man with a Ph.D.? Nigger." - Malcolm X

What do you call a black boy with Skittles & tea? "Suspicious."

If you don't know the story of Trayvon Martin, here is the quick and dirty: Trayvon was a 17-year-old boy who was walking back to his dad's house on Feb. 26 after going to the store. He was followed by George Zimmerman, self-appointed neighborhood watch leader for the Sanford, FL community, because he "looked suspicious." Although he was warned by the 911 dispatcher on the phone not to follow the boy, he did. He accosted him. George Zimmerman shot and killed an unarmed boy who was almost half his size and trying to get away from him. (more facts on the case along with sources here)

George Zimmerman has not been arrested.



 Zimmerman has claimed self-defense, and police have cited Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law as an excuse for their inaction. The Stand Your Ground or Shoot First law is an extension of the Castle Doctrine, which states that the home is a person's castle & they have the right to defend it using deadly force if necessary. Twenty-eight states have this law. In addition to that, 18 states have "Stand Your Ground" which extends outside of the home and eliminates a person's responsibility to try to walk away from a potentially threatening situation. If you have "a reasonable belief" that your life and safety is in danger, you can use force to defend yourself, even deadly force.

However, in this case, that is bull. Trayvon carried nothing but snacks, no weapons. He was walking away from the man. According to ABC News, a friend was on the phone with Trayvon minutes before the shooting. She recounted the boy trying to get away from a man who was following him. Does that sound like a threatening situation to you? Only if you see Zimmerman as the threat. To pursue and harass a young man--still legally a child-- accost him and then shoot him when he yelled for help & tried to defend himself, and then claim self-defense is sickening and a slap in the face to common sense. Even sicker is that this man is being taken at his word, with barely a peep from the local police department. Fortunately, public outcry has prompted the Department of Justice, US Attorney's Office and the FBI to investigate.

Although I heard this story last week, I figured surely the police would do the right thing and arrest George Zimmerman. Yet here we are, nearly a month later, and no arrest has been made. The thing that put me over the edge was hearing the 911 calls from neighbors. Three neighbors called about the brewing confrontation, and you can clearly hear this boy calling for help seconds before the gunshot. Hearing that last desperate cry moments before his life was snuffed out broke my heart. It made me think of my cousins, nephews, frat brothers. Men who, whether they have on a hoodie & jeans like Trayvon or a suit and tie, have that unmistakably "suspicious" brown skin. So even if they are somewhere that they have every right to be, they still have to be on guard against others who feel as if they don't belong there. And yes, the same is true for black women as well, we catch hell too. But not as violently as our brothers, it appears.

This case has the potential to set a dangerous precedent, especially in the states that have this Shoot First law. If we turn a blind eye to the violence against this one black child and let it go under the ruse of self-defense it could open Pandora's Box. While some may say "This was just an isolated incident. Zimmerman was crazy, most people aren't like that" I would like you to ponder this. Despite the claims of America being "post racial" after 2008, instances of racially motivated violence, hate speech, discriminatory legislation and racially insensitive behavior in schools and places of employment have increased. Make no mistake, the monster that is racism never died, but the "fear" (of what? hmm) and hatred felt by many now outweighs the political correctness to keep their prejudice under wraps (at least in public). For some, the hatred is so potent that they would attempt to follow in Zimmerman's footsteps if they felt they could get away with it.

None of us want to believe that we live in a country that claims "freedom and justice for all" but lets a huge injustice like this occur. But how can we deny it when we've seen it before? And we see it now, staring us in the face, daring us to do something about it. So help do something about it. Along with signing the petition for Zimmerman's arrest, here are three other ways we can help bring justice for Trayvon Martin.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Quote of the Day


  “Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”    -Unknown



I don't think about death much. After all, it's another part of life. But here I am, still feeling all sorts of ways about the passing of my grandfather this weekend. On one hand, it's terribly painful knowing that I won't get to see him again, hear some of his stories or be teased about getting fat. On the other, I'm glad that he isn't in pain and is at rest. And I'm proud to be a descendant of such a wonderful person. They say the good die young; I say the great outlive most. He died just a month shy of his 102nd birthday. RIP Robert Davis, Sr. You will live forever in our memories.

 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Things My Future Husband Should Know: About Being the Head of the House

Dear future hubby,

It's early on a Thursday morning. You know how I am when I haven't had my coffee yet, so sorry in advance if I ramble.

I had a little epiphany (although the word "epiphany" seems too epic to describe as little, so let's just say a moment of clarity) this morning in which I realized what I want from you concerning this whole "head of the household" thing. That phrase has always kinda rubbed me wrong, even though I've been taught from a child that that's how it's supposed to be. The thought of someone controlling me made me want to hit something and yell, "You're not the boss of me!" After all, isn't marriage supposed to be a partnership?



But I know that I've always liked it when a man takes charge. That's probably due in part to my own indecisiveness, but it also adheres to the confidence and (hopefully) wisdom that I envision a real man possessing. A man who waffles is a liability, IMO, and is likely to get cut off. Since you've made it to being Mr. Tori D. (lol) that's obviously not the case, so congrats.

Anyway, the realization that came was about my part in the equation. Once I actually thought about it, I discovered that my roles in relation to you are the same that I've been playing for others most of my life. Sounding board, out-of-the-box thinker (there has to be a better term for it than that), and cheerleader. On important issues I
want
 need to be in on the decision-making. I want to hear your ideas and share mine. Hopefully we will both agree on the course of action and go from there. If not, it's your responsibility to make the final decision and to live with it. My responsibility is to support that decision. If it works, I'll have the "you were right" cheer ready. If it doesn't, I'm going to rag you a little bit (hey, no point in lying) but then we'll figure out how to regroup and move on.

You being head of the house doesn't lessen my position. It doesn't make me your maid, your secretary, your cook or your pet...
unless we're role-playing but that's for another letter
. We are indeed partners-- in complementing, not competing, positions. Making decisions concerning our finances, kids, worship, household responsibilities, etc. shouldn't be power-plays. Becoming Mrs. Whoever-You-Are means that I obviously trust your judgement, which is why I'll have no little problem letting you take the lead.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Anti-Social on Social Networks

I'm on too many.

 

 

 

 

(What, is that not enough? Okay, fine.)

I think I've OD'd on social networking. HighSchoolClub.com was my first taste of it, and was quickly followed by CollegeClub and BlackPlanet. The idea of "meeting" new people and learning about them without having to actually open my mouth and talk to them was intriguing to me. And I could keep up with my friends even when we weren't at school without spending all night on the phone with them. Sweet! This introvert was pleased.

The number of social sites I joined quickly ballooned. Y'all know me; I'm always after the "next big thing" when it comes to anything dealing with technology. Social networking was no exception. There was MySpace, then Facebook, several Ning sites when they were still free, and probably hundreds of little sites that I easily forgot about. Now there's the Facebook page plus two fan pages, this blog, four Twitter accounts (which I just brought down from five--how the heck did that happen?), four Tumblr blogs (but one is for business!), LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google+, Instagram, GetGlue, StumbleUpon, Flickr, YouTube...

Enough!! 
oh mr. faceless guy, how did we get here?

 

Now I'm making cutbacks. Already deleted FourSquare (which is a creepy little thing, now that I think about it). GetGlue will be gone after Once Upon A Time & Desperate Housewives season finales (what is it about those little stickers?!). Twitter and Tumblr accounts are being consolidated or deleted all together, and one by one I'm unjoining sites that I'm sure I'll never miss. And there is a reason for it all.

 

One thing that has me a little frustrated is trying to create unique content for each site. It's difficult, if not impossible. I'm friends with a lot of the same people across different sites. I know how much I hate checking my Twitter timeline, then seeing the same comment on Facebook. It's annoying! So I avoid doing that, but there's really only so much I want to share with everyone.

 

Another issue I have with social networking is that many people--myself included--are distracted from the real world by it. Even when we do venture out (IRL!) often we are uploading pix, checking in, and tweeting about who we see. Instead of, yanno, actually focusing on the experience. It's not uncommon to go to dinner with a table full of people and have minimal verbal conversation because everyone's eyes are glued to the tiny screen of their phone. Which basically leads to my biggest gripe.

 

Somehow, social networking has enabled me to be even less social (who knew that was possible?). And I suspect the same is true for many others. Who needs to call when I can tweet you or send a message on Facebook? We don't have to "catch up" because I can see your whole life online. And now, I've gotten to where I barely comment anymore! I simply like, retweet, reblog, repin or +1 it. Even I, in all my anti-social glory, see a bit of a problem with this.

 

All this new-fangled technology be darned! I am going to make a serious effort to start reaching out to my family and friends the old-fashioned way. I'm going to pick up my phone... and text.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Quote of the Day

(Quotes, actually.)

At work we're reading a short book called Habits Die Hard: 10 Steps to Building Successful Habits. It's full of tips and quotes and ways to overcome bad habits and turn them into positive habits, which can be applied professionally and in your personal life. My chapter is "Assess the Risk" (arguably the most boring chapter I could get, considering that it instantly put me in the mind of some of my business classes). Although the info in this chapter was pretty basic, it did have some quotes that I like, and they do apply to some aspects of my life now. Since I felt like they were good little bits of inspiration for me, I had to share them with y'all.

"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult." - Seneca


"Fear is a powerful de-motivator. It limits us. It entangles us in the status quo."


"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." -  Thomas Edison


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Randomness: Because I Know Y'all Miss It


  • I haven't been writing much because my muse has said "forget this!" and hasn't given me anything to work with. The words just aren't there, and I'm not going to bore y'all with word vomit. I'm one of those folks who writes when I have something to say, not just because I have to say something. That and an increased work load are the major reason for the scarcity of posts.

  • Since I am not posting as much, the blog may be making a move. Again. It will still be kinxnquirx.com, but it may be moving to Wordpress.com. Or Blogger. Yes, again. When I moved to Wordpress.org, I had dreams of using my blog as a vehicle to launch my writing career. The more I analyze what I want to do, I realize that writing isn't ultimately what I want to do career-wise. It is still a passion that I want to pursue, but not necessarily professionally. With that being said, there is no point in me spending precious dollars for hosting a site that I'm using strictly for personal reasons when it could be done for free. After all, I'm broke! I'm trying to cutback spending everywhere I can (I'm considering getting a GoPhone or a Trak (?) phone from Wal-Mart... seriously) and this is one of those possible cutbacks. Moral of the story as far as y'all are concerned, the look may change a bit but I will try to keep things as similar as possible.

  • Although my muse refuses to have anything to do with verbal artistry, she is going HAM in the visual department. I wake up and go to sleep with ideas for jewelry. Not sure how much of it I'll get to implement, but I'm excited about the prospect. And business is doing pretty good too. Not like I'm bringing in hundreds of dollars a month (yet) but people are buying. A lot of my time now is going into designing/making jewelry as well as reading more about how to parlay this into a legitimate, profitable side hustle.




  • I did a length check a few weeks ago and still haven't posted the pix. Tried the Carol's Daughter Chocolat too. I need to use it again to remember everything I was gonna say! So slack. I gotta do better. But I will get it posted... eventually. My interest in discussing natural hair has kinda worn off too. I think it's because I'm past the newbie stage and back to "whatever, it's just hair." Just hair that I really just want to cut off so I don't have to be bothered with it. *shrug*

  • I need y'all to pray that I go on Wheel of Fortune and win at least $100K. Or that Publishers Clearing House knocks on my door with a big ol' check. Or that someone finally realizes my brilliance and hires me for a job with a six-figure salary. Whichever scenario strikes your fancy.

  • We have a new guy starting today. From his name, I assume he's black. So that'll make.... 4 black guys & 50-11 white guys from Ole Miss. Woohoo, diversity.

  • All February I had an IDGAF attitude. January was depression, plain and simple. I wonder what March will be? Whatever it is, I hope it involves cocktails. I haven't had a great martini in forever.

  • I also need y'all to pray that my NYE trip didn't leave me with an unexpected and unwanted souvenir. Aunt Dot is playing bald-headed games with me and I don't appreciate it. Yes this was probably TMI but hey, you've read it now; don't dwell on it.

  • At this point I'm just rambling, which I hate to do. Totally contradictory to my first point. So I'm stopping now.