About a week ago I decided to join a dating site. There was nothing in particular that prompted the decision, I just wanted to see what was out here. After all, its kinda becoming clear that Mr. Right isn't roaming the halls at work or coming down the aisle at church I'm not trying to seriously get with Mr. Lemme Holla At Ya from the club. This couldn't hurt so I figured why not. I joined Plenty of Fish because But what I found was... Well, the same thing I found offline. By day two I was talking to an English teacher who seemed pretty cool down to earth. He hadn't been in an interracial relationship before his profile said he was divorced. But that night his wife--who missed the divorced memo her husband was sending out to others--let me know she was not pleased with him chatting up black women for potential relationship. Considering my propensity to unknowingly attract married men, this wasnt surprising.
I can't count how many messages I've gotten that only said "hi." Of course those got no response. I've been propositioned by an Irishman who wants to do a big black chick. I've run across some profiles of folks who sounded great... except that I already knew them. One particular profile really got me; the profile pic looked nice, dude had on shades. But after looking at other pix I realized that he was a former teacher of mine. *retches at the thought* And I've seen more profiles of men 30+ who list their professions as "hustling" or "I get money" than I anticipated. (I mean seriously, isn't there an age limit on that type of foolishness?)
It hasn't been all freaks and geeks though. One guy has potential: he's cute, we've been having good conversations, no weirdness so far. He falls into two of the three strikes category off jump--he's younger than me but not by much, and he's a good 4 hours away which is creeping into long-distance territory--but I still wanna give him a chance. Hopefully he'll give me a chance though; turns out he is not a fan of tattoos. *looks down at my four-month old tat* Welp...
And there's another guy who meets all the requirements as far as I know. His picture may or may not have been one of the deciding factors in me signing up for POF. He sent one of those "I want to meet you" messages they have, and I finally worked up the nerve to write him back. But I'm just not into this whole Imma-send-one-message-a-day-so-it-may-take-a-year-before-I-get-around-to-asking-for-your-number thing he has going on. No rush and no pressure, but it just doesn't seem like something one would do if they were interested in getting to know someone. So there are no expectations there.
Will I continue online dating? Meh, we'll see. I may be too critical of things like spelling and grammar to be successful at this. After all, I don't think we can be together if you don't know the difference between quit, quite and quiet. I'm judging! But I will give it a decent try. Wish me luck!
Oh yeah, three other little fun facts:
- Guys, it's okay to smile. For some of you it will make you look friendly and attractive. For others, it will make you look less like someone who ties people up in a basement and set their arm hair on fire. O_0 So work on that.
- I know many of you like to hunt (this is the south after all), but pictures with dead animals just make me sad. And a little nauseated if I can see the fresh bullet hole. Let's not do that.
- So damn near everyone that has messaged me claims to be 6' or taller. So why do I always run into guys my height and shorter? Hmmm...
Have any of you tried online dating? Did you find the man/woman of your dreams or a freakin' nightmare? What are your thoughts on online dating?
LMAO! This was great. I did this once 12 years ago and let me tell you that there are some weirdo's out there. I even did a stint at Yahoo for 8 months and worked under their Yahoo Personals and you won't believe the stuff we had to see that people tried to submit for their own PROFILES!
ReplyDeleteIs online dating a bad thing, No, because my co-worker found his wife that way and they have been together ever since. I would have fun with it and see what happens. You never know.
I know some people who have had successful relationships that stemmed from online dating, so I trust that it's not a bad thing. If nothing else comes from it, at least I should have some interesting stories to share!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if you are in my head....I guess great minds, JSU grads, and Sorors think alike. __This is my story...a few months ago, I listened daily as a co-worker (white) told me about her nightly dates with different guys, so I asked her...uhm..HOW are you getting all of these dates?? And she tells me that she signed up on a dating site called, BBPeopleMeet.com. I said, and you're getting hits like that?? She told me she was and encouraged me to try it. I had previously signed up (and paid for) BlackSingles.com so I wasn't really on trying to do another site, but she told me that BBPeopleMeet was different...uhm..yeah..ok... But then I sat and thought about it the BB=Big, Beautiful...and I was tired of going through other sites and seeing profiles that said that they only wanted thin people...so here's a site that out the door, you know that I am curvy (plus size)....hmm...._
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ReplyDeleteOne of my first San Antonio hits...we flirted back and forth for a few days...then I told him that I didn't want a long drawn out email convo and to give me a call...I boldly gave him my number and waited...he texted me. LOL The first day he texted me, we went back and forth...and then he called...and immediately joked about my East Texas accent...the rest is history, and on 12/28 we will have been in a six month committed relationship. I LOVE THIS MAN. Now don't get me wrong, we have had growing pains...but we have such a great relationship that we discuss everything to the fullest and he supports me, my dreams, and my goals. Good luck Tori
p.s. The buffonery that I found on PlentyofFish and OKCupid was ridiculous....splurge and pay for a few months on one of the other sites.
(continued)....
ReplyDeleteSo on a morning that I really should have been working (the Friday before Memorial Day...no work done), I decided to let her help me write my profile and pay the monthly fee JUST TO SEE what would happen. I got a TON of hits...but none of them from anyone here in Austin...most of my hits were from San Antonio, Houston, and outside of Texas.
**By this point, I had realize that the person for me is NOT in Austin...my skin is too dark and I am too curvy for these shallow guys here**
Awww I am so happy for you! Your story gives me hope that it's not a waste of time. And I am finding that you get what you pay for, dating sites included! So I'm seriously considering shelling out a few dollars to try another site.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck! I've done shows with Coach Steph of What The Love and she's made some convincing arguments for online dating. We've all heard the horror stories, but she had quite a few success stories that made me think that people can meet online and make a love connection. I've always been skeptical about it, but after talking to her, I have more confidence in the technology working. Although I'm not in the market, I'd recommend it to others, especially if Coach Steph is involved as a mentor.
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