Once upon a time, homebuying was a much less dramatic affair then it is today. The house hunt was fun, if suspenseful, and then there was another exciting whirlwind of inspections, closing and moving in. Today, though, as soon as buyers get the gumption to jump off the rent vs. buy fence, they find themselves on another edge - the edge of their seats, through the entire escrow process waiting to see what obstacle will emerge next, and whether their transaction will survive it.
Deals get killed all the time, and buyers can't relax until they have keys actually in hand. Here are three of the most common real estate deal-killers, and some steps buyers can take to deactivate them.
1. Appraisal too low. Some buyers incorrectly believe that the best thing that could happen to them is for the property to appraise below the agreed-upon purchase price, expecting that a low appraisal forces the seller to bring the price down. In fact, so many of today’s sellers are barely breaking even, that a low appraisal is probably the most common deal-killer around. If an appraisal comes in just a tad bit lower than the contract price, usually the seller will come down if they can, or the buyer will kick in a few extra bucks. But when it comes in 5, 10 or even 20 percent low, most sellers can't - and most buyers won't .
Low appraisals also seem like the most difficult deal-killer to avoid, as this process is entirely out of both buyer's and seller's control. But there are two things buyers can do to minimize the risk. First, check the comps - i.e., recent comparable homes that have sold in the area - before making an offer; your agent will help you do this. Then, don't make an offer bizarrely above the average range of the comparables, even if the property has multiple offers, unless you're prepared to deal with a low appraisal a couple of weeks out.
Also, consider working with a local mortgage broker who also originates loans through its own bank (vs. walking into a large bank's branch off the street); these lenders have the ability to choose from a smaller pool of appraisers that they know are qualified and knowledgeable about your area.
2. Property condition dramas. When the market melted down, lenders found themselves with a lot of decrepit homes on their hands. This explains two things: (1) why lenders are more concerned about property condition now than ever, and (2) the raggedy condition of so many of the "distressed' homes on the market. Homes that have extensive wood rot, dangerous decks or electrical systems, or peeling paint and missing systems (sinks, stoves and the like) are highly unlikely to pass muster when the appraiser walks through, even if they do qualify as being worth the purchase price. And while an individual seller might be willing to do some work, many just can't afford to; short sale and REO sellers simply refuse to make fixes, 9 times out of 10.
Prevention is the best medicine for curing this transaction ailment. If you are buying a short sale or REO property, be aware that when the selling bank says as-is, it really means as-is. Ask your mortgage broker and agent to brief you on what sort of shape your lender will require your home to be in, at minimum, and keep that standard in mind during your house hunt. Your agent can help manage your expectations about which properties will and won't likely pass muster.
3. Loan approval takes too long. Every buyer knows they must get preapproved for a mortgage before they start house hunting, but many don't know that preapproval is just the first in a long list of steps that have to happen before the loan becomes a sure thing. In fact, it's common now for buyers to get their loan preapproval many months before they end up in contract, and lots can change in the interim - further extending the time it may take for their loan approval to come in.
It's common for contracts to include a standard loan contingency period of 17 days, give or take a few. But the appraisal might take longer than that to come in, or the underwriter might have lots of questions and seemingly random nitpicks about the appraisal, or about you: they want to see your driver's license, then your marriage license, then your divorce decree, and after that, a letter from your employer agreeing that you'll be keeping your job even though you're moving an hour away. It never seems like they ask for everything at once, thus it can take longer than 17 days to obtain all the requested items, turn them in and get the underwriter to sign off on them.
Until you get that green light, it's foolhardy to remove your loan contingency, as that step renders your earnest money deposit non-refundable, under most contracts. Many a buyer is forced to either secure an extension from the seller or to let the transaction die, rather than forfeiting their deposit funds. And again, some sellers understand and will play ball, but bank sellers can be particularly resistant to loan contingency extensions, especially if there are backup offers on the table.
Best practice for buyers to minimize the chances of an overtime loan approval process killing the deal? Be ready: be ready for lots of bizarre documentation requests, be ready to provide things you've already been asked for, and be ready to do so quick-like - without pushing back. The faster you can turn around the things the underwriter wants, the better.
Also, it can be very helpful to work with a mortgage broker and agent that have worked together before and have close communications, so that your agent can stay abreast of any and all loan process glitches and keep the listing agent apprised of the legitimate reasons you may need an extension throughout the contingency period, rather than assuring them everything's speeding along then having to ask for a last-minute extension.
(source)
Friday, September 23, 2011
Morning Quickie: Where Does the Time Go?
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. ~Doug Larson
Even though I don't sleep the recommended eight hours of sleep and do my best to multitask, I never seem to have enough time. There is always another chapter to be read, report to be done, event to attend. More work to be done, miles to be walked on the treadmill and hair to be washed... Usually I end up falling asleep reading, writing, or tweeting.
So I'm trying to figure out how to make more time to do what I need to do. My main focus is time for writing, so that's where I'm starting. (If I try to do it all at once I know I'm gonna be completely overwhelmed.) My goal is to carve out one hour a day during the week and two hours on Sunday during which I unplug from everything and everyone. No phone, no Twitter, *gasp* no tv. Just me, my pen and notepad. Maybe my iPad if I can discipline myself not to get online. Once this becomes a regular habit, I'll move on to carving out time for other important things. I'll also try to use my calendars/organizers more. I put things on the calendar (computer, iPhone and iPad) but rarely check them. What good does that do? Lemme tell ya, it does absolutely no good. But imma do better, I promise!
Do you have 24-hours a day, or does it seem like someone shorted you a few hours? What do you do or use to manage your time wisely?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I'm Not Every Woman
When Beyoncé announced her pregnancy, there was an almost immediate firestorm of articles and tweets about her "doing it the right way" and how her pregnancy put single mothers to shame. I imagine if she ever read those articles (though she probably stopped long ago) she would think, "Can I just have this baby for me and my husband? Does this have to be representative of how every Black woman should do? Can I live?!" (Sorry, that last line would've actually been mine.) Instead of being treated like an individual, she was examined, scrutinized, then heralded as "the model." But that's par for the course when you're a celebrity, right? But what about when us "regular" folks go through the same thing?
[caption id="attachment_1558" align="alignleft" width="196" caption="source"]
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For many people the way they view "others," those with whom they don't personally identify, is shaped by a set of stereotypes that are perpetuated through tv and online. So whenever black women (or black people, or women) are the media's focal point, they are talking about me. Unfortunately, the image that people see most often of black women is that of the loud, uncouth hoodrat; the emasculating b*tch, the sex-crazed Jezebel, or the mammy. The problem with this is that not every black woman fits into one of these categories. True, there are some, but just as in any race we also have our professionals, students, humanitarians, nerds. *raises hands* Our characteristics run the gamut much like our skin tones.
My issue is that the media doesn't show this; it doesn't truly portray me. The result is an everyday battle to combat these stereotypes while still being true to myself. But this is easier said than done. If I'm overtly sexual, I'm the typical fast black girl. If I lose my cool and put someone in their place, I'm Sapphire. If the wrong person catches me bobbing my head and mouthing the words to a Waka Flocka Flame song then I'm automatically ghetto. (Okay, bad example; who really understands anything that Waka says? But I do love "No Hands." See, look at you judging!)
I'd like to be afforded the luxury of being seen as an individual. It would be nice to know that my actions won't reflect on the whole of black womandom--at least, not when they would reflect negatively. And it would be wonderful to know when others act in a less than savory manner that I am not categorized as "one of them" because "you know how they are." Sorry Chaka (and Whitney), but I am not every woman. I wish the world would realize that.
[caption id="attachment_1558" align="alignleft" width="196" caption="source"]
[/caption]For many people the way they view "others," those with whom they don't personally identify, is shaped by a set of stereotypes that are perpetuated through tv and online. So whenever black women (or black people, or women) are the media's focal point, they are talking about me. Unfortunately, the image that people see most often of black women is that of the loud, uncouth hoodrat; the emasculating b*tch, the sex-crazed Jezebel, or the mammy. The problem with this is that not every black woman fits into one of these categories. True, there are some, but just as in any race we also have our professionals, students, humanitarians, nerds. *raises hands* Our characteristics run the gamut much like our skin tones.
My issue is that the media doesn't show this; it doesn't truly portray me. The result is an everyday battle to combat these stereotypes while still being true to myself. But this is easier said than done. If I'm overtly sexual, I'm the typical fast black girl. If I lose my cool and put someone in their place, I'm Sapphire. If the wrong person catches me bobbing my head and mouthing the words to a Waka Flocka Flame song then I'm automatically ghetto. (Okay, bad example; who really understands anything that Waka says? But I do love "No Hands." See, look at you judging!)
I'd like to be afforded the luxury of being seen as an individual. It would be nice to know that my actions won't reflect on the whole of black womandom--at least, not when they would reflect negatively. And it would be wonderful to know when others act in a less than savory manner that I am not categorized as "one of them" because "you know how they are." Sorry Chaka (and Whitney), but I am not every woman. I wish the world would realize that.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Understanding Personality Types at Work Using MBTI
Anyone who has any work experience knows the frustration that comes along with working with different people. Often, we cannot understand why they do the things they do or act the way they do. However, there is a method of understanding people's personalities that can explain some of their tendencies and help create a more harmonious work environment. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an accurate, easy to understand tool to determine personality types.
According to Introduction to Type, Isabelle Myers and her mother Katharine Cook Briggs studied the ideas of psychiatrist Carl G. Jung and applied those ideas in order to better understand the people around them. Developed in the 1940s, the MBTI has been used by numerous companies and organizations around the world to better understand their employees and develop training and career planning. This method looks at four factors and, using all possible combinations of these factors, places everyone in one of 16 personality types. The factors that are examined are energy, information intake, decision making and how we deal with the outside world.
Often we mistakenly think that being an extrovert simply means being loud while being an introvert means being shy and quiet. Yet there is more to it than that. Extroverts tend to process information externally. They will be the ones to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind in a meeting, and if no one else is around they can be found talking out loud to themselves. They draw their energy from other people, and as a result tend to visit fairly often, especially when they need to bounce ideas off of someone. Extroverts usually don't mind speaking at the spur of the moment.
Introverts, on the other hand, process information internally. These are the folks that will sit quietly in a meeting, perhaps jotting down notes, and will have questions or suggestions afterwards. They tend to think things over before speaking. Introverts are not unable to speak publicly; instead they simply need time to prepare. If an Introvert has an office door, you can expect it to be closed. Their energy tends to be drained by other people, so time alone is their chance to recharge.
Not everyone processes information the same way. When it comes to Sensors, a "just the facts" approach is best. Sensors are data-driven; they take in info through what they see, hear and read. They tend to be very by-the-book and have an eye for detail. Don't expect Sensors to stray from standard operating procedures. Their motto is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Sensors are often seen as very grounded people, as their focus is on present realities.
Their somewhat flightier counterparts, Intuitives, are focused more on future possibilities. As such, they tend to question why things are done a certain way and seek out easier/better ways to do them. Intuitives like to see the big picture, but details can bore them. They are idea-driven, so instead of giving them facts and figures like you would a Sensor, explain how the information can be used to improve, increase, or enhance.
Don't let the names fool you. Thinkers do have feelings and Feelers can and do think! But when it comes to making decisions, everyone falls to one side or the other. Thinkers are logical and analytical. They will remove themselves from the situation to weigh the pros and cons. These objective decision makers look for a standard to apply in all similar situations. They believe that fairness means everyone is treated equally.
Feelers, on the other hand, are more empathetic. When making decisions, they do so with others in mind and are guided by their personal values. For Feelers, the goal is peace and harmony. Their decision making is objective, and their idea of fairness is that everyone is treated as an individual.
Out of all the factors, this is the one that causes the most friction in the workplace. On one side, you have Judgers. These people are very planned, orderly, and organized. They are methodical and systematic with their work, and make short-term and long-term plans. If a meeting is called for 9:00, expect them to be there at 8:55 at the latest unless something disastrous happens. Judgers are extremely time-sensitive.
It's no wonder that they would clash with Perceivers. It had to be a Perceiver that came up with the concept of "9-ish," because time is not concrete to them. Perceivers are flexible and spontaneous; they usually find routine to be boring and monotonous. They take a more casual approach to work and life than Sensors do. They welcome change and like to leave things open-ended, even up to the last minute. Not surprisingly, Perceivers are often prone to procrastination.
It is important to note that there are varying degrees of each of these traits. People with the same personality type may exhibit some characteristics more than others based on how strong their preference is towards that trait. It should also be noted that just because a person's preference is toward a certain characteristic, it doesn't mean that their behavior cannot be modified to fit a certain role. On the contrary, many people learn to adjust to fit a job, but there must be some outlet in their personal life that allows them to be their true self.
Hopefully, you will be able to better understand yourself and your coworkers (as well as your loved one) through the MBTI, and use it to create a peaceful, productive work environment.
Myers, Isabel Briggs. Introduction to Type. Mountain View, CA. CPP, Inc., 1998.
Originally posted at Suite101: Understanding Personality Types at Work Using MBTI | Suite101.com
According to Introduction to Type, Isabelle Myers and her mother Katharine Cook Briggs studied the ideas of psychiatrist Carl G. Jung and applied those ideas in order to better understand the people around them. Developed in the 1940s, the MBTI has been used by numerous companies and organizations around the world to better understand their employees and develop training and career planning. This method looks at four factors and, using all possible combinations of these factors, places everyone in one of 16 personality types. The factors that are examined are energy, information intake, decision making and how we deal with the outside world.
Extrovert vs. Introvert (Energy)
Often we mistakenly think that being an extrovert simply means being loud while being an introvert means being shy and quiet. Yet there is more to it than that. Extroverts tend to process information externally. They will be the ones to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind in a meeting, and if no one else is around they can be found talking out loud to themselves. They draw their energy from other people, and as a result tend to visit fairly often, especially when they need to bounce ideas off of someone. Extroverts usually don't mind speaking at the spur of the moment.
Introverts, on the other hand, process information internally. These are the folks that will sit quietly in a meeting, perhaps jotting down notes, and will have questions or suggestions afterwards. They tend to think things over before speaking. Introverts are not unable to speak publicly; instead they simply need time to prepare. If an Introvert has an office door, you can expect it to be closed. Their energy tends to be drained by other people, so time alone is their chance to recharge.
Sensing vs. Intuitive (Processing Information)
Not everyone processes information the same way. When it comes to Sensors, a "just the facts" approach is best. Sensors are data-driven; they take in info through what they see, hear and read. They tend to be very by-the-book and have an eye for detail. Don't expect Sensors to stray from standard operating procedures. Their motto is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Sensors are often seen as very grounded people, as their focus is on present realities.
Their somewhat flightier counterparts, Intuitives, are focused more on future possibilities. As such, they tend to question why things are done a certain way and seek out easier/better ways to do them. Intuitives like to see the big picture, but details can bore them. They are idea-driven, so instead of giving them facts and figures like you would a Sensor, explain how the information can be used to improve, increase, or enhance.
Thinking vs. Feeling (Decision Making)
Don't let the names fool you. Thinkers do have feelings and Feelers can and do think! But when it comes to making decisions, everyone falls to one side or the other. Thinkers are logical and analytical. They will remove themselves from the situation to weigh the pros and cons. These objective decision makers look for a standard to apply in all similar situations. They believe that fairness means everyone is treated equally.
Feelers, on the other hand, are more empathetic. When making decisions, they do so with others in mind and are guided by their personal values. For Feelers, the goal is peace and harmony. Their decision making is objective, and their idea of fairness is that everyone is treated as an individual.
Judging vs. Perceiving (Dealing with the Outside World)
Out of all the factors, this is the one that causes the most friction in the workplace. On one side, you have Judgers. These people are very planned, orderly, and organized. They are methodical and systematic with their work, and make short-term and long-term plans. If a meeting is called for 9:00, expect them to be there at 8:55 at the latest unless something disastrous happens. Judgers are extremely time-sensitive.
It's no wonder that they would clash with Perceivers. It had to be a Perceiver that came up with the concept of "9-ish," because time is not concrete to them. Perceivers are flexible and spontaneous; they usually find routine to be boring and monotonous. They take a more casual approach to work and life than Sensors do. They welcome change and like to leave things open-ended, even up to the last minute. Not surprisingly, Perceivers are often prone to procrastination.
It is important to note that there are varying degrees of each of these traits. People with the same personality type may exhibit some characteristics more than others based on how strong their preference is towards that trait. It should also be noted that just because a person's preference is toward a certain characteristic, it doesn't mean that their behavior cannot be modified to fit a certain role. On the contrary, many people learn to adjust to fit a job, but there must be some outlet in their personal life that allows them to be their true self.
Hopefully, you will be able to better understand yourself and your coworkers (as well as your loved one) through the MBTI, and use it to create a peaceful, productive work environment.
Sources
Myers, Isabel Briggs. Introduction to Type. Mountain View, CA. CPP, Inc., 1998.
Originally posted at Suite101: Understanding Personality Types at Work Using MBTI | Suite101.com
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Greek Week Quickie: Christian and Greek--It's Possible!
Okay, so I keep seeing these groups and websites and reading blogs, etc from former Greeks who have renounced their various orgs in the name of religion. I'm not hating on that. If they feel they have to separate themselves in order to live holy, so be it. But why must they blame the organization and imply that it's impossible to love God and be a member of a BGLO. That is just stupid. I know numerous preachers, evangelists, teachers, etc. that are Greek-affiliated. I've seen real-life examples of those who are Greek but are exemplary Christians. So why do some feel the need to tear these orgs down? It's one thing to admit that they were not strong enough to live right while in an environment where it is easy to do wrong. But that does not mean that BGLOs are evil! It's upsetting to me because what they say diminishes the good things that Greeks do, and is misleading for those that do not have that much exposure to Greek life. And I'm in no way saying that I'm a perfect Christian--I'm far from it. But even I know that this whole notion of having to give up one for the other is preposterous. I love God, I love Zeta. It is possible!
*oldie FB note from Dec. 2006*
*oldie FB note from Dec. 2006*
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Greek Week: Where Are Our Positive Images?
[caption id="attachment_1533" align="aligncenter" width="336" caption="Photo Credit: NJ Coalition of Divine 9 Online"]
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It is said that a good name is better than riches and should be desired above silver and gold. This definitely applies to Greek life as well. Too often we see negativity about our organizations brought to the forefront. Hazing incidents, accusations of excessive alcoholism and simply existing to party, financial scandals and negative stereotypes are usually the first thing out of the mouths of those unfamiliar with Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLOs). But how is this so when our fraternities and sororities were created with high ideals in mind?
Think about the Principles that your founders laid out. Then ask yourself, "Am I helping to promote these principles, or am I hindering them?" More and more, I ask what I am doing to display Scholarship, Service, Sisterly Love and Finer Womanhood, both within the confines of Zeta Phi Beta and in everyday life as simply Tori D. At some point, we have to realize the importance of our own organizations, otherwise, how will the rest of the world? It is a must that we strive to make a difference on our campuses and in our communities and then make it known. It's okay to take your own horn, especially when you are combating negativity.
When people think of you and your organization, they should think of more than the scandals and lawsuits. They should say more than, "XYZ has the hottest parties" or "ABD makes the best punch/oil/juice." What service activities do people see? What can they say about you academically? What can be said of the character of your chapter/org members? I challenge all Greeks, myself included, to do more to honor our founding principles and portray our esteemed organizations in a positive light.
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[/caption]It is said that a good name is better than riches and should be desired above silver and gold. This definitely applies to Greek life as well. Too often we see negativity about our organizations brought to the forefront. Hazing incidents, accusations of excessive alcoholism and simply existing to party, financial scandals and negative stereotypes are usually the first thing out of the mouths of those unfamiliar with Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLOs). But how is this so when our fraternities and sororities were created with high ideals in mind?
Think about the Principles that your founders laid out. Then ask yourself, "Am I helping to promote these principles, or am I hindering them?" More and more, I ask what I am doing to display Scholarship, Service, Sisterly Love and Finer Womanhood, both within the confines of Zeta Phi Beta and in everyday life as simply Tori D. At some point, we have to realize the importance of our own organizations, otherwise, how will the rest of the world? It is a must that we strive to make a difference on our campuses and in our communities and then make it known. It's okay to take your own horn, especially when you are combating negativity.
When people think of you and your organization, they should think of more than the scandals and lawsuits. They should say more than, "XYZ has the hottest parties" or "ABD makes the best punch/oil/juice." What service activities do people see? What can they say about you academically? What can be said of the character of your chapter/org members? I challenge all Greeks, myself included, to do more to honor our founding principles and portray our esteemed organizations in a positive light.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Greek Week: "The MRS Sorority Chick"
Our first Greek Week submission comes from Lo. She is a 24-year-old member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated (Spring 2010). College grad, up and coming community leader. You can catch her at http://singleblackfemale.tumblr.com and Twitter (@NoNamesJustLo). My, has my view on Greek Life changed since February 27, 2010. Whoever said that your perception of Greek Life will change after crossing wasn't lying. If anything I've become annoyed with the dynamics of the social aspect of being Greek, but I guess my reasons for joining plus my age and mindset have something to do with that.
Soon as I hit college at the tender age of 18 I always dreamed of becoming a Delta. I loved what they did for the community as well as my personal upbringing, but the social aspect caught my eye as well. Just looking at how the Greeks interacted with each other made it look fun to be a successful college student. Then once I turned 23 I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to become a member so I was anxiously awaiting the exposure to the inside of being Greek.
And what a world it is.
[caption id="attachment_1529" align="alignright" width="259" caption="This is bad sorority behavior to the EXTREME, but don't think you're off the hook!"]
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Now don't get me wrong, soon as I got pinned I was ready to hit the ground running in service, but part of me still wanted to see if all that glitters in the social aspect is still gold. And outside of the usual Greeks overcompensating for what they lacked while on line (second chance pledgees are what I call them) I saw a whole "new" monster brewing....the MRS Sorority Chick.
We all know of at least one MRS Sorority Chick; shoot you might know a line/chapter of them. A group of thirsty chicks who saved up wads of money to wear letters and increase their chances of getting chose. The sorority chick that will steamroll past her Sorors to speak to her "frat" (the quotations are intentional for those whom it may apply). The sorority chick who has no issues selling out her Soror to get approval from the frats.
I've seen this in EVERY sorority as they interact with others and it disgusts me to no end. I know the dating scene is kind of tough and womenfolk are trying to get serenaded by her Sorors on her special day and all, but since when has it been okay to exchange sisterhood for a joint license plate?
One thing that pisses me off is that when I'm at a Greek function and there is a performance going on. Some of the sororities may cheer their Sorors on, yadda yadda yadda...but when the fraternities get on stage they go SICK. Seriously? Why are you cheering on the frats harder than YOUR OWN SORORS?! And then the choreography of these strolls along with your attire....ma'am. I understand that times are different from when people did strolls before, but synchronized stripping while representing your organization will never be the business. Who are you repping for; it can't be your Founders! I'm sure that every woman in a sorority has been taught the importance of sophistication and ladylike behavior, to hold yourself and your org in its highest esteem. Buttcheek isolation while holding up your hand sign is the exact opposite of that.
"Girl, bye the guys can be sexual in their strolls so we can too." Absolutely not. Double standards still apply; plus you shouldn't try to govern your actions in a SORORity based on a FRATERnity.
To be honest it feels as if a great deal of women with membership cards and a shield to lean on are more about the approval of men than their own Sorors. I mean, any time you blast your Soror in front of "your" frat (another intentional quote) to prove how "hard/made" you are you're doing the exact opposite of that....but you should know that already. I'm well aware of the bonds that some frats/sorors may share due to similar intensities of their intake process, but you NEVER forsake the bond you have with your Soror for that. Your loyalty is to her; you both share the same shield, say the same oath, wear the same letters/symbols. This mess should go without saying but looking at parched broads embarrassing their organization for the peen I guess it needs to be said. Yes there are guys who blast their frat and act the same way, but its more common amongst us ladies and it looks worse when we do it. You don't see guys skipping over their frat to speak to you, and if he does its only a matter of minutes before you see him in the center of a huddle with his frat. If you can't be loyal to your Soror why would he think you'd be loyal to him? You're in a SISTERhood...you protect her before any other Greek no matter what.
Can we chalk up this new wave of Pillow Talk 2.0 to the floodgates being left open for who were letting in our orgs? Has loyalty become an optional lesson when teaching new members and potential Sorors how to govern themselves? Are more women seeking MRS by way of XYZ nowadays or is this Neo only seeing the fervent actions of people excited about being Greek?
I just want to see women rep their sorority in the proper manner because they are proud of what they have accomplished and what they stand for, not because the fraters love it *shrugs*
Soon as I hit college at the tender age of 18 I always dreamed of becoming a Delta. I loved what they did for the community as well as my personal upbringing, but the social aspect caught my eye as well. Just looking at how the Greeks interacted with each other made it look fun to be a successful college student. Then once I turned 23 I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to become a member so I was anxiously awaiting the exposure to the inside of being Greek.
And what a world it is.
[caption id="attachment_1529" align="alignright" width="259" caption="This is bad sorority behavior to the EXTREME, but don't think you're off the hook!"]
[/caption]Now don't get me wrong, soon as I got pinned I was ready to hit the ground running in service, but part of me still wanted to see if all that glitters in the social aspect is still gold. And outside of the usual Greeks overcompensating for what they lacked while on line (second chance pledgees are what I call them) I saw a whole "new" monster brewing....the MRS Sorority Chick.
We all know of at least one MRS Sorority Chick; shoot you might know a line/chapter of them. A group of thirsty chicks who saved up wads of money to wear letters and increase their chances of getting chose. The sorority chick that will steamroll past her Sorors to speak to her "frat" (the quotations are intentional for those whom it may apply). The sorority chick who has no issues selling out her Soror to get approval from the frats.
I've seen this in EVERY sorority as they interact with others and it disgusts me to no end. I know the dating scene is kind of tough and womenfolk are trying to get serenaded by her Sorors on her special day and all, but since when has it been okay to exchange sisterhood for a joint license plate?
One thing that pisses me off is that when I'm at a Greek function and there is a performance going on. Some of the sororities may cheer their Sorors on, yadda yadda yadda...but when the fraternities get on stage they go SICK. Seriously? Why are you cheering on the frats harder than YOUR OWN SORORS?! And then the choreography of these strolls along with your attire....ma'am. I understand that times are different from when people did strolls before, but synchronized stripping while representing your organization will never be the business. Who are you repping for; it can't be your Founders! I'm sure that every woman in a sorority has been taught the importance of sophistication and ladylike behavior, to hold yourself and your org in its highest esteem. Buttcheek isolation while holding up your hand sign is the exact opposite of that.
"Girl, bye the guys can be sexual in their strolls so we can too." Absolutely not. Double standards still apply; plus you shouldn't try to govern your actions in a SORORity based on a FRATERnity.
To be honest it feels as if a great deal of women with membership cards and a shield to lean on are more about the approval of men than their own Sorors. I mean, any time you blast your Soror in front of "your" frat (another intentional quote) to prove how "hard/made" you are you're doing the exact opposite of that....but you should know that already. I'm well aware of the bonds that some frats/sorors may share due to similar intensities of their intake process, but you NEVER forsake the bond you have with your Soror for that. Your loyalty is to her; you both share the same shield, say the same oath, wear the same letters/symbols. This mess should go without saying but looking at parched broads embarrassing their organization for the peen I guess it needs to be said. Yes there are guys who blast their frat and act the same way, but its more common amongst us ladies and it looks worse when we do it. You don't see guys skipping over their frat to speak to you, and if he does its only a matter of minutes before you see him in the center of a huddle with his frat. If you can't be loyal to your Soror why would he think you'd be loyal to him? You're in a SISTERhood...you protect her before any other Greek no matter what.
Can we chalk up this new wave of Pillow Talk 2.0 to the floodgates being left open for who were letting in our orgs? Has loyalty become an optional lesson when teaching new members and potential Sorors how to govern themselves? Are more women seeking MRS by way of XYZ nowadays or is this Neo only seeing the fervent actions of people excited about being Greek?
I just want to see women rep their sorority in the proper manner because they are proud of what they have accomplished and what they stand for, not because the fraters love it *shrugs*
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