Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Pandemic: The Adult Temper Tantrum










Wasn't cute then...

There is a disturbing trend in our society that has exploded within the last few years. More and more, people are flying off the handle about things, whether they be as insignificant as a .50 price hike on their favorite food at Taco Bell or as major as losing a job. And of course you can't forget the celebrity hissy fits, of which Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown are currently leading the way. Every other day there is a new story or video of someone freaking out and destroying property, assaulting others, or just making an ass of themselves by running their mouths and making threats. Meltdowns are mainstream thanks to camera phones and the web, and there appears to be some unspoken contest to see who can spaz out the best... or worst.

I will admit, I wish adults were given a pass to throw a temper tantrum once or twice a year. A full out, on the floor, kicking screaming yelling crying fit! (In fact, I would've used mine last night after realizing that I may have to delay getting my own place even longer than I thought... Another post for another time.) After all, life is stressful and always bottling those frustrations gets to be a bit much. Nowadays everyone is under pressure: the haves & have nots; the educated & the ignorant. People need an outlet for their frustrations, which is understandable. But is there ever anything that justifies going ape sh*t over a burger? (Literally, this chick and her friends look and act like monkeys in this video.)

Have people always been this crazy but we just looked away instead of gazing in amusement? Couldn't be; I would've seen some of this live and in person a couple times in my twenty-something years if that was so. Instead I think what

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="...not cute now"][/caption]

we're seeing is a combination of things. One is the culmination of what happens when children are raised with the idea that they are entitled to what they want when they want it. I've seen kids fall out in the store and instead of getting a butt whooping, they get whatever toy or candy they wanted. Ummmm no ma'am, no sir. That wasn't going down in my parents' house. Although I hated it at the time, it taught me that I couldn't always get my way. Now that I'm an adult I can accept that and resist the urge to flip tables. But if you never get that lesson when you're young, how do you handle all the NOs life throws at you when you're older?

Second is the acceptance of bad behavior. It's on our televisions all the time. Celebs acting out in real life. "Reality" shows highlighting fights, drama, and behavior that would normally be considered unacceptable in society. When this is what you take in, you're bound to become desensitized to it (it no longer shocks you) and/or feel that it is okay to do. As the preacher said Sunday, "What we laugh at today, we accept tomorrow." Someone throws a chair on TV in a fit of anger? Well hell, I can throw one when I'm pissed too! (Slightly off topic: I wonder if this is why most of the McDonald's now have chairs bolted to the floor? Guess there were one too many "I said no pickles heffa!" *chair into the register*)

It would be wonderful if adults could remember their roles as such and follow the rules of polite society... at least in public! But I fear that as time and technology progresses, the world will be privy to even worse actions and attitudes. However, I do have one request. If for some reason I forget myself (and this post) and have a public temper tantrum of my own, please don't record it and post it online.

 

Friday, March 18, 2011

Doing The Most vs. Doing Too Much

Lately I've been wondering if I've been doing too much to try to make it. IMO, there is absolutely a difference between "doing the most" and "doing too much."

For me, this is doing the most:

Working hard, or "grinding" as so many people claim to do. While I haven't quite stepped into the role of entrepreneur (yet) I realize that to get where I want to be, I have to do things that I don't necessarily want to do now. So I endure a job I don't like, persevere through a career I love that is at a stand still due to the economy, and daily come up with new ideas of how I can turn my real passions (writing and the arts) into viable means of income.

But I'm afraid I may have fallen into doing too much:

I wonder if this is me. Focus has always been hard for me and it's no different now. I know the end result that I want, but getting there is proving to be more difficult than I envisioned. So I try to take on more and more to make up for what isn't happening that I think should be happening. So far, this has lead to being super stressed, constantly tired, and getting a bunch of nothing done.

Does that mean I'm not built for the kind of dreams to which I aspire? Or am I just doing too much for the moment and need to pace myself? At this point, the answer eludes me. I've slowed down on some things: put chartering a NBMBAA chapter on hold, kinda dropped some of my sorority obligations (which I feel terrible about, but there's not enough Tori to go around), cut out the tiny bit of social life that I had. And although I don't have a choice with the job and career, I am weighing my options on the other ideas to figure out which is the best for me presently.

I'd hate to get burned out from doing too much before I get to show the world what I can really do.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Soundtrack to my Present State

In regards to my quarterlife crisis the state of my career/life…



In regards to HWHNT…



In regards to my highly anticipated cruise with the family & HWHNT…



In regards to recent attitudes about my hair now that the naps are really starting to take over (even though I can in no way relate to hair breaking off or being the “source of so much laughter.” More like the source of envy, but I digress…)



And of course my forever and always theme song (or one of them at least):

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Quarter Life Crisis: Take Two



I think I'm ready to talk about it now. When I tried previously, it basically just came out as this random, frustrated jumble of a temper tantrum. I think I'm able to do a little better now.

I have three main issues that are f'in with my head right now. They are actually all kinda related in a way, so I have a feeling that once I resolve one, the others will work themselves out.

Issue #1: I still do not know what I want to do with my life.
I am getting my MBA, should be finished next December. Why I'm getting it, I'm not entirely sure, except for the fact that I was told once I get it I'll be able to get more money if I continue working for the state. (However, that has been suspended until God knows when due to this lackluster economy, so I have to ask again, why am I doing this?) Thing is, I don't plan on working for the state for long. I never planned to. So now what? My professor from last semester put the PhD but in my ear. Do I pursue that? Do I really want to be in academia? Do I want to do research? (Hell no.) I'd love the breaks that would come with being a professor and assuming I got hired by a pretty good school, I'm sure I'd love the salary that goes along with it as well. But is that me? About as me as sitting in that cramped, windowless cubicle at my current job I guess. And what about real estate? I'm still interested in that, but... I'm hesitant. What if I suck at it? I already know that I'm not the greatest salesperson if I'm just trying to push something on a person, but maybe it would be different with real estate since buyers usually have some idea about what they want. But what if it's not different? What if I really just don't have what it takes? Or what if I start that and then realize that I hate it? Then what? There's only so much starting over one can do, right?

I'll let you in on something. My baby is making moves. He knows what he wants to do and is getting his ish together. Every time we talk he's talking about it. He's excited. He's following his passion. And I'm very happy for him... But I'll be honest, I am a bit jealous. (Don't judge me!) It makes the stark contrast of me not knowing what the hell I'm doing even more of an issue to me...

The other thing about what he's doing: if he's successful (which I'm sure/hopeful he will be) he'll be in VA indefinitely. So
Issue #2: I don't know how long this long distance relationship is going to be long distance.
We had a plan. A plan that essentially stuck me in MS for several more years while under the impression that he would be moving somewhere a bit closer and soon our LDR would be a medium-distance relationship, or maybe just a regular dayum relationship. I stuck to my end of the deal and stayed my ass in MS at this job and in this MBA program when I really wanted to just pack up and go somewhere. Now it looks like I may have just trapped myself here alone. Like I said, I'm happy he's doing his thing, but now it's like, where does that leave me, and us? After almost two years I am still not feeling this whole "see you when i can" thing. I don't like seeing him a total of MAYBE two weeks out of the year. I hate not being able to really be there for him and have him be here for me like I want. I need something definitive to look forward to and I don't have that. If love had a purgatory, this would have to be it.

Although my friends and family have always said "Don't go running after a man," I still want to pick up and move. Just sell the little bit of stuff I've got and go. Find a place up there and look for a job once I get there. One problem though.
Issue #3: I don't make enough money.
Not enough to pick up and go. Not enough to get out of my parents' house and into my own spot. Not enough to pay bills and still have enough money to eat by the end of the month. Ever heard that term "broke as a joke?" HARDY-FREAKIN-HAR BABY!! I've just gotten to the point where I could save a little bit of money about two months ago. Second month of saving: had to dig into the savings account. So how am I gonna pick up and go across country when I can't even go across town? I have been applying to some better paying jobs around here. So far, no callbacks. Today I applied for a position at my current job. Not the increase I was looking for. Still not sure if I'd be able to afford an apartment, utilities, car note & other bills if I took it, but a little increase is better than nothing I guess. Here's hoping that something comes through...

I just feel like if I could get something going on just one end maybe the other puzzle pieces will fall into place. I've been praying for direction, but either I don't speak God or God don't speak to me, cuz so far I got nothin'. Trying to remain patient though, because I don't want to make the wrong move. However, I keep thinking of this quote:


"Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice." 

So am I cautious or am I cowardly?

IDK, I just need this QLC to be over quickly... I'd hate to have it spill over into my MLC :-/