Downpayment Registries for Newlyweds: Would You Do It?

from realtormag.com:

Forget the toasters and champagne flutes: More engaged couples are doing a different type of wedding registry that allows them to collect cash for a down payment on a home, according to a recent article in The Washington Times.

Dana Ostomel, founder of Deposit a Gift in New York City, says that about 15 percent of their registries are to raise down-payment funds for a home and another 15 percent are for home-improvement funds to pay for upgrades like a new roof or furniture.

"Given that 75 percent of today's engaged couples already live together and are older, very often they are already established with the household basics that you find on a traditional registry," Ostomel said. "What they want is the gift of big-ticket items and longer term goals, like the gift of home ownership.”

The FHA permits gifts from a wedding to be used as a down payment, but lenders are required to document that the funds are gifts. About 27 percent of first-time home buyers use gift money from relatives and friends for a down payment, according to a 2010 National Association of REALTORS® Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers survey.

Source: “Registries Raise Cash Gifts, Avoid Etiquette No-No,” The Washington Times (Oct. 20, 2011)

In the past, it was considered in bad taste to ask for money instead of the traditional registry items like china, silverware, etc. However, in recent years it has become more common to see a note asking to forgo gifts and give cold hard cash. Considering that today's couples are getting married when they are older and more established, they likely have at least one toaster and coffee maker. Why ask for more of the same? The idea of asking for money to use towards an investment such as a house (whether it is to purchase a new home, make repairs, or accumulate rental property) is a sound decision. But could you buck the long-standing rules of etiquette and ask for money on your big day?

Reshaping My Relationship with Money (or: Tori D. is broke!)

There was a crucial learning step that I missed as a child. I never really was taught about using money wisely or balancing a checkbook. I think it was taken for granted that these things were simple enough, and with me being a pretty bright child, there was no reason for me not to grasp that concept. And that thinking was correct to an extent; I can balance my checkbook... It may take a while, after hunting down receipts and stuff, I can do it. The thing is, I'm prone to not doing it. My lack of focus, coupled with personality traits such as disorganization and tendency to find tasks like this uninteresting (I'm an INFP for those of you familiar with the Meyers-Briggs personality types) means that it just does not get done. This has lead to some less than desirable consequences for my bank account.

The thing that most recently sent me into shock occurred on Tuesday. I got a call from my mom saying she figured I needed some money for lunch so she transferred some funds into my account. Blow #1: I felt like a middle school kid again, getting lunch money from mommy. I said thanks, but didn't think I actually needed it. The last time I checked my account, it said there was $30-something dollars in there. I'm good! I go to check how much she put in... I see that she put in over $100 but my account was less than $100. How could this be? It turns out, (blow #2) I was in overdraft. Blow #3: Two transactions that totaled less than $10 caused me to get hit with $70 in NSF fees. Y'all, I cried. Like literally boohooed at work. I felt like such a failure! Here I am trying to prove that I'm a responsible adult and ready to be on my own. And my mom had to come save my butt. Again.

I'm not even sure that she knew I was in that position or not. Usually when she does, she'll say something about it but this time she didn't.

That situation has made me determined to do better with my money. I'm going to have to do something drastic. I'm going to start carrying cash.

I never have cash y'all. Ever. The debit card is just sooo much easier for me. But that ease means it's way too easy to overspend, especially when you don't have to actually see the money. It's like you're not really spending it (at the time). I figure if I only carry cash (no debit OR credit cards unless I'm going to get gas) it will cause me to do several things:

1. force me into seriously thinking about what I'm purchasing and how much I spend
2. create a loose budget for the week/month
3. keep me from buying non-necessities--I have enough stuff in my tiny little space as it is
4. cause me to save more

So on payday, I'll take out a small, pre-determined amount and make it last for the month. If I run out by week two, yanno what that means? I can't buy A THING for two weeks. If I have money left over at next payday (a laughable thought, but I guess it's possible) then that amount goes towards the amount I can spend, which means less coming out of my account.
This is a modified version of something a financial planner presented to us while I was an employee at Blue Cross Blue Shield. In his version, you have a separate envelop for each thing. A cash envelop for bills, cash envelop for clothes, cash envelop for food, etc. That doesn't work for me because there's no way I'm sending cash for my credit card bills, car note, all of that. So my bills are paid at the beginning of the month, and then my account will have to sit inactive for a bit.

The only time I'll allow myself a little splurge is when I make a sale. That commission will be split between my savings, credit card payments, and a little bit to spend. By the way, having my savings come out of my check before I get it was one of the best ideas I've ever had! LOL

Have any of you had to make serious changes to your relationship with money? Did you have a good money management foundation from the start, or did you have to learn as you go? What has been your biggest challenge?

Afternoon Quickie: "Secrets of Extreme Savers"

Yahoo! Finance has an article today featuring five individuals/families who are great at saving money.
This article caught my eye today because I am trying to get on the right path as far as saving and spending my money wisely. I am prone to impromptu shopping trips and splurging on food and drinks when I go out with friends, but I realize that I have to make some serious changes if I want to meet my goals. What are those? Retirement by age 45 (but 40 would be ideal) so that I can dedicate the majority of my time to my future non-profit organizations. The issue is how to go about achieving this. I have a path laid out in my head, but the first step starts now with my spending and saving habits. So I am going to try to apply some of these common-sense but easier-said-than-done principles for saving now.

The five "secrets" were as follows:

1. Avoid Debt
I'm starting out way behind the couple in the article... hello, student loans, car note, credit cards! But the good news is that I'm not creating any new (non-work related) debt, and I'm chipping away at the existing debt. It's a slow go for now, but once business picks up I plan on being debt free (excluding mortgage) within five years.

2. Delay Gratification
Ugh... I have zero will power and have to have what I want when I want it! But this is something that I am improving on, so yay :)

3. Create Multiple Streams of Income
Now THIS... this I can do. It's what I'm trying to do doing now (speaking prosperity into existence).

4. Live Below Your Means
Kinda doing this now... After all, I am living rent-free... That counts, right?

5. Cut Down on Everyday Expenses
Cups, it looks like I can't visit you every day for my blondie fix. Guess regular old home-brewed coffee will have to do...

For the actual article, click here.