Things My Future Husband Should Know: About the In-law Situation

Okay dear, there are some things we need to discuss about our families. Since I am an only child, marriage is an opportunity for me to (hopefully) get the family I didn't have growing up. I'm praying that you have at least one cool sister, preferably around my age, who will be more of a sister to me instead of just a sister-in-law. I want us to bond like my mom and aunts have. In my mind, I see me and your sister(s) having girls' night out, taking road trips, and shopping like teenagers.

And maybe, if I'm lucky, your parents will be fun-loving, wine-drinking, friendly folks who would rather have a good time enjoying our company instead of arguing and fussing. That way we can go to my parents for dinner on serious, religious holidays like Easter and live it up at your parents' parties for Christmas and New Years. And your mom can show me how to cook your favorite dish from your childhood so I can surprise you with it on your birthday.

Yup, that would be nice.

Of course I know that kind of luck may not come my way. You may be an only child like me, or may have a bunch of brothers, or your sister may not like me because she's a raging b*tch for some unknown reason. And maybe your parents are super-conservative like mine (I pray this isn't the case though) or just don't like to do much. That's fine. All of that is really not important in the grand scheme of things. But there are two things that will cause us to have major problems.



1. Blatant Disrespect
I've been fortunate enough to get along with most of my exes' families. And out of all the moms I've met, only two didn't like me. (Admittedly, one of them did have just cause.) That being said, I have always tried and will try to stay respectful and cordial to your family even if we cannot be close. It's just how I was raised. But should I feel disrespected unfairly, I expect you swiftly to put your foot down. (And don't question it when I tell you about it. You already know I want this fairytale ending; why would I make something like that up?) Otherwise, I'll be forced to show that other side of Tori that I've kept hidden even from you. Nobody wants that. Oh yeah, since I'm going out of my way to be nice to your family, I expect the same. Even when I vent about them, that doesn't give you an excuse to down them unless it's legitimate.

2. Popping Up Unannounced
Since you've made it to Hubby status, you already know how I am. I enjoy my uninterrupted time in my space. I don't want to be bothered before 10 AM or after 9 PM unless we're having a party or something. And if you're there, who knows when and where someonething may go down. Literally. That being said, make sure your family knows to call before they visit. I will not be very hospitable if they arrive while I'm trying to. (See what I did there?) In fact,  I probably will not open the door. Yeah, it's rude I know. So if you don't want your folks to get their feelings hurt, make sure they know the rules about visiting.

If we can avoid those little things, we're good! I know I'm marrying you, not necessarily your family, but I want things to be as smooooth as possible. Don't you?