Quote of the Day

“How often my fear and ambivalence are rooted in what somebody else may think. But I need not present my actions, my words, myself for somebody else's approval. And basing my decisions on somebody else's approval or making my own approval contingent on somebody else's only postpones what I really want.”

 Jan Denise

I’m guilty of this, sometimes. Like right now. I have a big decision I need to make, about getting my own place. There’s pressure on both sides, not to mention my overanalyzing everything that could possibly go wrong. But the question that I haven’t really asked myself is “What will truly make me happy? What am I comfortable with?”

Like I said in a previous post, my folks did a good job on raising a people-pleaser. I want everyone to be happy with me. But what happens when the people I care about most want drastically different things? And why should it even matter what everyone else wants when it comes to my life? It shouldn’t… But the reality is that is does for me. And I hate that sometimes. Things would be much easier if I could just say, “This is what it is; deal with it.” That ain’t in me, but if I ever want to truly be content, I guess I have to make my decisions and deal with whatever consequences that come.

Quote of the Day

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as you see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

 

Stacey Charter

Happy Black Girl Day!

I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.
June Jordan

Per SistaToldja over at The Beautiful Struggler, every second Wednesday is Happy Black Girl Day. I love this idea! Of course I strive to be happy everyday (who doesn't?), but it's easy to let negativity drain us of that. And for Black women, that could be compounded by all the bad news we're faced with constantly regarding our relationships, careers, appearance, health, socio-economic status... hell, our humanity!

So once a month we (those that participate in HBGD, especially on Twitter) make a concerted effort to focus on the positive aspects of ourselves, our communities, whatever makes us happy. So are a few things (in no particular order) that are making me happy RIGHT NOW:

-It's almost lunch time! (Don't judge me!)
- I am thismuchcloser to my real estate career & I'm making connections for my nonprofit!
- HWHNT's comments last night (he fussed cuz I put him on blast last time, so I've been sworn to secrecy about what was said LOL)
- Learning my hair & inspiring others to go natural
- This incredible lipstick (MAC Slimshine in Lovey-dove). I thought I couldn't wear it since it's an odd copper-y color, but it works sooo well with my chocolate skin!
- The positive black female role models in my life: mom, grandmother, aunts, cousins, sorors--proof that there is more to the Black woman than the stereotypical mammy, jezebel & welfare queen!
- It's warming up! True, it's perfect tornado weather but we're just gonna ignore that for now

Okay, most of that is superficial I know. But I have to say the number one thing that makes me happy is the fact that I'm learning to be my own woman. Regardless of what's popular, what's conventional, what I've been told, I'm learning to listen to myself. I feel we all have an inner compass that will guide us down the path we're destined for, but how many people fail to take heed to it? Instead they end up at a place in life that they never intended on visiting. Fortunately I am starting to listen, learning how to follow my own voice. I'm not remaining stagnant; I'm growing and maturing. And that makes me very happy.

BTW, if you don't have a reason to be happy, let me give you one:

Seriously, who ISN'T happy looking at this adorable face?

I'm Not Feeling It

I'm at home today, partially because I didn't feel all that great this morning; partially because I found zero motivation to get up and go to work. I am absolutely drained! So instead, I'm working on stuff for class (kinda... it's a slow process), resting, and reflecting on some things. Main thing I've realized is that I can't count on other people for my happiness and well-being. If I want to be happy, it's solely on me. Although it's nice to turn to them, I can't count on friends, family or my boyfriend for that. Eventually there comes a time when they aren't around and you gotta make it happen for yourself...

IDK, I'm rambling and not making much sense. I'm feeling so many ways right now and its coming out a big jumbled mess. I'll try this again later. :-/

Midday Randomness: Five things that would make me happy right now...

Shoe shopping, of course. That always makes me happy (unless I can't find a 10... ol' sizeists!)

Boris (yeah, we're on a first name basis like that) and his yummy delicious abs, sexy lips... Oh, what's that? Of course I was just playing baby! You know I mean YOU! 


A massage (from Boris).

I tend to be a lil nicer & more mellow with some libations in me. To quote Homer Simpson (um, yes, you read that correctly) "Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems." 

This is probably what I need the most. A nice, looong nap.

 

Okay, I've looked & imagined (fantasized for you, Boris.... um, I mean Baby). Maybe now I can get through the rest of the day & do something... I dunno, productive.