"Not All Women Hate Their Bodies"

Ran across this article while killing time at work on ModernMinority.com. I can't say that I am surprised at the findings, considering that I know I underestimate my size sometimes and would prefer being thick to being skinny or small. It was just an interesting little bit of info:

Overweight and obese women being treated at an inner-city family-planning
clinic apparently don’t assess their physical characteristics in quite the same
way that medical professionals do. They tend to like their bodies. 

In a study published in the May issue of the American Journal of
Obstetrics and Gynecology, most overweight and obese women underestimated their
body size when comparing silhouettes of body shapes — and some of them chose
heavy silhouettes as their personal ideal.

Previous research had found ethnic differences in whether or not people
see themselves as overweight or obese. And this study confirms that African
American and Hispanic women are especially likely to underestimate their body
size. (The few white women in the study overestimated their body size.)

The researchers, from Temple University, are understandably chagrined
by all of this. They point out that the health risks of being overweight mean
women ignore reality at their own peril. And they say the findings show the need
for more education about the negative effects of “excessive body size.”

It’s true. Of course it is, but …

Physical self-appreciation among women is so very rare. Here’s hoping
that the education doesn’t actually do damage.

– Tami DennisSource: latimesblogs.com

Imagine Me

I heard Kirk Franklin's "Imagine Me" on the radio while driving momma to lunch today and started boo-hooing out of nowhere. (Granted, it doesn't take much to get me teary-eyed.)

I've been so stressed lately with school & work, trying to figure out what's next with all of that, plus issues with family and my own personal issues... It takes a toll. Then I hear this song... and I cry because I imagine that I didn't have to deal with any of this... then because I wonder if I will ever get to the point that the song is about, where I do feel free and not hurting or depressed or anxious...

*sigh* Maybe one day.

Quick Vent

At first I decided that I would not get too personal on here. With the exception of this post and very few others in the future, I probably won't. But I'm upset and need to vent.

Tonight my father gave me the "No one will ever love you enough to not cheat on you" speech. Not the first time I've received such loving encouraging words from him either. (That was sarcasm, by the way) I try really hard not to let the BS he spews get to me, but stuff like that does. Like, in what remote section of his brain does he think that that's an acceptable thing to say to someone? And to say that to your own daughter, REALLY?!

And it's true, I've had some really fugged up relationships in the past, and a lot of them did involve infidelity. However, how could I have a positive relationship when I had a fugged up male figure in my life? The one that's supposed to help shape me and build me was and is constantly trying to break me down. And when I go against what I know and finally found someone who is great for me, I still feel impaired because I've internalized this garbage from my father without even knowing it.

Anyway, I know that I need to cut him out of my life for good. He brings nothing but negativity in my life and I'll be dayumed if I spend my entire adult life suffering through the same things I've been through as a child. Fugg that.

A Mile in My Shoes... And Her Shoes, Too

This is a re-post of a note I wrote on Facebook. It's concerning a project that I am getting underway. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on the idea and some folks seem to be as excited as I am about it! But of course I could always use more. More details on this coming very soon!

Anyone that knows me knows there are two things I will spend my last dollar on: books and shoes. Well now I want to combine my love of the two by producing a book about the wonderful world of shoes. *grin* But I need your help!

In order to make this a success, I am asking for contributions from my friends and yall's friends too! Submit pix of your favorite shoes, shoes you would buy if you could afford them, quotes about shoes, a short paragraph on what makes a hot shoe in your opinion, ANYTHING shoe related! Heels, flip flops, ballet slippers, cleats, whatever YOUR style is, share it!

Please note: I could not tag everyone, but your contribution is welcome as well! AND guys, you can get your girlfriend/wife/sister/mother/aunt/grandma involved too! I want to include a wide spectrum of women in this book, so age and race are not important.

I will be posting some guidelines and suggestions soon.

First I wanted to get a general idea of who would be interested in participating in this project. I'm also open to suggestions, as this is my first time undergoing something like this. Thanks in advance to everyone who will make this publication a success!!

Who Knew?!

http://www.modernminority.com/index.php/2009/04/26/who-knew-black-female-navy-admiral-thwarts-pirates/

While we were so focused on the captain of the U.S. cargo ship that was rescued from the Somali pirates, our attention was diverted from the very person that lead the charge to get him back to his family.

The Navy Times ran a story on Rear Admiral Michelle Howard who took command of the Navy’s counterpiracy task force only three days before the pirates attacked the U.S.
cargo ship Maersk Alabama and snagged the captain as a hostage.
The U.S. Navy hadn’t seen this type of action in a very long time and piracy hasn’t been something the Navy has had to counter attack in over 100 years. Howard’s expertise and illustrious Navy career showed her to be the perfect person for this mission. She is the first female graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy to be promoted to Rear Admiral.

In the article, she said, ““Right now, the policy is, fight piracy, and I am all about that policy … We are quite capable of staying out here and doing this mission.”

Source: eurthisnthat.com

Repost from Myspace

Since apparently I cannot import my blog from Myspace, I'll be reposting some of those when I feel the need to add something but really have nothing to day. Tonight is one of those nights, so here ya go!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You Current mood: content Category: Life Written by: Dana Orr 10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS. .. Friendship is not charity, it's a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don't be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your 'best friends forever'. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you - it's ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a 'friend'. 9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY. .. Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don't have to beat yourself up about behaviour you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations - you just solved a problem! 8. PROTECT YOURSELF. .. HIV/AIDS is the 1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America . You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you're stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else's hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: 'Look at me - what am I supposed to do now?!' All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on 'self- love' until you're certain that he deserves to enter your temple. 7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION. .. People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don't like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other's circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself. 6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY. .. Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being 'pleasantly demanding'. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true 'lady' means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference in n how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract. 5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS. .. Staying in touch with what's going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn't take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don't forget - parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something 'serious'. 4. Travel. .. Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever. 3. Be Proud To Be Black. .. Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride - as black people, we are so very special. Don't EVER feel as if you aren't equal to another person simply because you're black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you've heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you're familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn't mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black. 2. Have a Cause. .. As long as you're here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community. 1. Love Yourself. .. This is 1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn't love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you. 10:14 PM

Quote of the Day

"Its never too late to be what you might have been." -George Eliot. 

This is what I tell others; now I'm trying to make myself believe it!