Once again I’m having a conversation with an old flame and it’s come back to the “you deserve…” “I wish I…” “I’m sorry I didn’t…” comments. I guess that hindsight really is 20/20.
The thing is, I’m tired of hearing that. What is supposed to be accomplished by this “confession”? Am I supposed to just be elated that someone finally gets it, even after they dogged me out? Is it supposed to validate me in some way (“hey, turns out you didn’t deserve to be treated like shit!”)? Is it supposed to be the key to open the door back into my good graces? Is there supposed to be some element of closure or resolution or some other emotional crap that I’m missing?
It’s amazing to me that this clarity doesn’t come about until after they’ve moved on to another relationship or even gotten married. I’ve asked what changed between then and now, because it ain’t me. (Actually, I kinda take that back. I have changed; I’m not nearly as sweet or open as I was in the past.) So far, no one has really given me an answer, just some old “seeing things clearer” BS.
Honestly, the first one or two times I got these remarks from old boos, I was smug. After all, they were seeing just how silly they were for letting me slip through their fingers. Ha ha! I slightly reveled in saying “well, you leaving me just made room for bigger and better, so it’s cool!” But after a while it became “here we go again” and I was wondering what I wasn’t doing right in the first place since obviously they couldn’t see what they had until it was too late. Of course I’m not so disillusioned as to think that I am the best thing to walk this earth, but still… I knew I was a good woman, so why didn’t they?
Now, I’m just… pizzled (that’s pissed and puzzled). Kinda confused because I really don’t know the point of telling me all this way after the fact; a little angry because I feel like it’s assumed that everything is all good after their “my bad.” I just… I don’t get it.
Ladies & gents, if you’ve ever given the “if I’d known then what I know now” speech to an ex, can you explain to me what you hoped to accomplish? Did it work?
The thing is, I’m tired of hearing that. What is supposed to be accomplished by this “confession”? Am I supposed to just be elated that someone finally gets it, even after they dogged me out? Is it supposed to validate me in some way (“hey, turns out you didn’t deserve to be treated like shit!”)? Is it supposed to be the key to open the door back into my good graces? Is there supposed to be some element of closure or resolution or some other emotional crap that I’m missing?
It’s amazing to me that this clarity doesn’t come about until after they’ve moved on to another relationship or even gotten married. I’ve asked what changed between then and now, because it ain’t me. (Actually, I kinda take that back. I have changed; I’m not nearly as sweet or open as I was in the past.) So far, no one has really given me an answer, just some old “seeing things clearer” BS.
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| i started to paste my pic over Tina's, but that would've taken effort... lol But the caption still stands! |
Now, I’m just… pizzled (that’s pissed and puzzled). Kinda confused because I really don’t know the point of telling me all this way after the fact; a little angry because I feel like it’s assumed that everything is all good after their “my bad.” I just… I don’t get it.
Ladies & gents, if you’ve ever given the “if I’d known then what I know now” speech to an ex, can you explain to me what you hoped to accomplish? Did it work?
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