Makeup Break!

We interrupt our usual hair discussion for this brief announcement

Does anyone else hate wearing makeup during the summer? That's one thing I dread once it starts warming up here. I barely wear my usual foundation (MAC Studio Tech -NW47 if you wanna buy me some!) during the spring/summer/early fall because I feel like my face is melting. Even in the winter I don't wear it every day. I love it, but sometimes it just feels a bit heavy. Not to mention that I tend to break out if I use it too many days in a row.

So for the longest I've been stuck in a catch-22 because I don't like just being bare-faced. Unfortunately if a pimple even tries to pop up, I'm scarred with a dark spot. I've wanted to try a mineral powder, but was told by the guy at the MAC counter that it would end up leaving me shiny. Thought about Bare Minerals, but I was never able to find a shade that suited me. So the other day while browsing around the Sephora counter at JCP, one of the ladies directed me to a brand I'd never heard of: Cover FX.

She applied Powder FX (which is actually a foundation, not just a powder like I originally thought) and it went on like buttah. The color was perfect (B35 ova here!), it didn't take much (which meant no caked-up look) and it didn't leave me looking shiny, even on my sometimes oily T-zone. The lady at the makeup counter said that it also works to heal and reduce acne. I'm not so sure about those claims, but it doesn't break me out, which was the main thing I was looking for. Another thing I LOVE about this product is the wide variety of shades. Usually I just have to pick the darkest shade and hope for the best (although many times it's still too light). B35 works perfectly for me, but not for my mom who's a tad darker. Fortunately, using Match FX we figure she's a B45 (going to the counter to verify before she buys it).

Overall, this is a makeup MUST for me. I don't have any kind of rating system (maybe I should work on that?) but if I did, this would definitely get top ranking. Cover FX may have stolen me away from MAC...

But not completely! I am still in love with MAC's eyeshadow. That pricey pro palette will be mine one day!! But what I do have now is a lovely lipcolor. It's one that I purchased a few years ago but haven't been able to find in forever. When I got it, I told the guy that I was looking for something different than what I already had (a bunch of browns and burgundy/purples). When he handed me a Slimshine tube in Lovey-Dove I thought he'd lost his mind. It's such a pretty color--sort of a coral/copper color with a bit of blush or something... IDK--but I thought I'd look ridiculous wearing it. Wrong! It's a great everyday lip color. Goes on kinda sheer, not sticky... It doesn't last as long as I'd like, but it's not bad. And now that I've found out I can order it from Nordstroms (I haven't even been able to get it from MAC's site or counter!), I've fallen in love with it all over again!

So here I am today with my Powder FX & Lovey-Dove lips! Please excuse the lop-sided faux-fro (co-wash tonight!) and the wild eyebrows -_-

And speaking of eyebrows... I've got to find some stencils & brow powder/pencil to do something with these things! I thought I was going to try Eyecandy Eyebrows for a "custom" stencil, but at $110? No thanks. I'll be going to CVS & picking up the lil stencil pack with four shapes to choose from. Out of those, something's gotta be better than this! And for approx. $6 if they don't work, it won't be a major loss.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

Happy Black Girl Day!

I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.
June Jordan

Per SistaToldja over at The Beautiful Struggler, every second Wednesday is Happy Black Girl Day. I love this idea! Of course I strive to be happy everyday (who doesn't?), but it's easy to let negativity drain us of that. And for Black women, that could be compounded by all the bad news we're faced with constantly regarding our relationships, careers, appearance, health, socio-economic status... hell, our humanity!

So once a month we (those that participate in HBGD, especially on Twitter) make a concerted effort to focus on the positive aspects of ourselves, our communities, whatever makes us happy. So are a few things (in no particular order) that are making me happy RIGHT NOW:

-It's almost lunch time! (Don't judge me!)
- I am thismuchcloser to my real estate career & I'm making connections for my nonprofit!
- HWHNT's comments last night (he fussed cuz I put him on blast last time, so I've been sworn to secrecy about what was said LOL)
- Learning my hair & inspiring others to go natural
- This incredible lipstick (MAC Slimshine in Lovey-dove). I thought I couldn't wear it since it's an odd copper-y color, but it works sooo well with my chocolate skin!
- The positive black female role models in my life: mom, grandmother, aunts, cousins, sorors--proof that there is more to the Black woman than the stereotypical mammy, jezebel & welfare queen!
- It's warming up! True, it's perfect tornado weather but we're just gonna ignore that for now

Okay, most of that is superficial I know. But I have to say the number one thing that makes me happy is the fact that I'm learning to be my own woman. Regardless of what's popular, what's conventional, what I've been told, I'm learning to listen to myself. I feel we all have an inner compass that will guide us down the path we're destined for, but how many people fail to take heed to it? Instead they end up at a place in life that they never intended on visiting. Fortunately I am starting to listen, learning how to follow my own voice. I'm not remaining stagnant; I'm growing and maturing. And that makes me very happy.

BTW, if you don't have a reason to be happy, let me give you one:

Seriously, who ISN'T happy looking at this adorable face?

Saving Ourselves: On being a role model

Yesterday I experienced the strangest thing, and for some reason the more I think about it, the more upset & heartbroken I am.

My cousin pastors a small church that sits right in the middle of "the hood" and has a lot of kids from the area that attend. Yesterday they had a cookout to celebrate all the March birthdays, so my mom and I decided to ride by. As soon as we got out of the car, a little girl walked up to me, pointed to my dad & said, "You his daughter?" I was a little taken aback, simply because her speech and mannerisms were so... grown. I told her yes, and she proceeded to tell me how she was my little sister now, that she wanted to go shopping and for a ride in my car, and that if I had some old dresses that I couldn't fit any more, she would take them. "Oh, okay..." was all I could get out before she started rattling off things my dad told her he would get for her. My mom & I just kinda looked at each other. A little while later, I noticed her whispering something to my dad and he gave her a dollar. My aunt looked over and told her to stop asking people for money (apparently it was something she does regularly). When I left, she gave me a huge hug and wouldn't let go of my leg. Driving off, I thought "What a precocious lil cutie!" And yeah, I was kinda smug about the fact that she seemed to take a liking to me. I was ready to take her under my wing and turn her into "a princess just like me," as I told HWHNT.

But the more I thought about it, I was saddened by it. Sooo many questions came to mind because it really was unusual. She seemed both vulnerable and very cunning. Why is she so easily attached to people? What's the deal with the constant begging? (I know kids are prone to asking for stuff, but this went beyond the normal kid stuff.) What has she seen or heard to make her so comfortable with asking men for money? (My dad was not the only one she asked.)

Of course I can't pass judgment or say for sure what is going on in her life. I don't know anything about her situation. What I do know is that I feel compelled to help her. I don't even know how, and I have a feeling it's not going to be easy, but I have to. You can just see her potential, and her eagerness to be accepted and cared for could leave her open to anything if she isn't steered in the right direction. I've never really considered myself to be a role model, nor have I aspired to be one. My focus has always been on myself. But this is one of those situations where it's obvious that if I don't look out for "my own" there's a good possibility that no one else will. I know this probably won't be the big thing that saves the world, but it's a start right? If I can start with one who could in turn reach others... That's better than nothing. The ripple may be slow but it's better than not making any moves at all. It's easy to say what should be done, what others are doing wrong, what you would do if... But what is to stop us from being someone's role model, mentor, big brother/sister? I may not be famous or have stacks of money. But I have (a little) time, and some life experiences that I think someone else could learn from to avoid the mistakes I made. I have a sense of humor, and responsibility, open ears and an open heart. From where I'm standing, that's all I need to start.

A Hair Horror Story

OMG I don't know how I forgot to share this with y'all!

As I've mentioned before, I've always been a salon girl. Never really did my own hair because... well, I never had to. But I had an experience back in January to make me change that completely!

From the very start of my transition, my stylist constantly said that she "didn't know what to do" with my hair and that she wasn't gonna be able to deal with it for long. I always laughed it off, my line of thinking being "she started doing hair in the late 60s/70s; she's gotta know about doing natural hair." And I'd been doing fine with the little roller set that I'd been getting. On this particular visit, she said she wouldn't be able to do that style with it anymore. I thought it was odd (since even the newgrowth was manageable and able to be rolled when wet) but said okay and asked what could she do with it. She said she could press it. Cool, I thought. I'd have a little wrap action going.

So I sat in the chair for her to kinda comb through and detangle my hair before washing (it hurt, but I didn't think it was too bad) and asked her to trim it. I specified "trim about an inch off" because last time I said cut (my mistake) and ended up with my hair barely past my ears. Apparently I needed to be more specific. I heard the snip of the shears, looked up, and saw a good two inches of my hair in her hands. She proceeds to just cut randomly (later I realized that it's not even at all), even adding a bang that I did not want or ask for. (That bang is currently the bane of my existence. Yes, it's really that bad!) So although I'm pissed, I know I can't do anything about the cut. We shampoo, we condition. She fires this thing up:

What happened next was nearly unbearable. She begins to tug & pull at my hair, dragging this burning comb through my hair. I was just annoyed with the pulling at first, but when she got to the very back of my hair I wanted to turn around and punch her! There were several spots where she burned my scalp. Thanks to my high pain threshold and the fact that I'm a G I didn't realize how bad it was until a few days later when I was oiling my scalp.

By the time I left the shop, I was in so much pain. My scalp felt like it was on fire, and my head was throbbing so much that I had to take some Excedrin & lie down as soon as I got home. That day I decided I would never go back to her. Since I still have not found a stylist (anyone happen to know a natural stylist in Jackson, MS?) I've been doing it myself. And doing a pretty good darn job of it...

But last Sunday I wanted something different. I was missing the old days of flowy hair. So I washed it, then had my mom blowdry and flat iron it. It came out flawless (and painless)! And here is the kicker: My mom's at-home straightening lasted longer than the professional one I suffered for! SMH True, it only lasted a week (including one touch up of the edges with a straightening comb) but the other was puffing back up the very next day.

Moral of the story: If whoever does your hair is against you going natural (or really, whatever decision you make in regards to your hair) LEAVE them and find someone else! Or do it yourself. Eventually their negative disposition towards what you're doing will either push you away from what you want to do, or manifest itself in hair horror stories like this one.

Randomness, cuz I know you miss it

Maybe I've overextended myself lately. Working fulltime, grad school part time, about to take my real estate agent's exam (Finally!) which will take up the little free time I have. Plus I've started working on the business plan for one of my two future nonprofit orgs, and lately I've been toying around with the idea of a consulting business (but that wouldn't be for a couple of years). And I'm still hopeful about this writing thing... I know what my problem is. I'm too indecisive and ADD-prone talented! There's only so much Tori D. to go around! My mother says I don't know how to pace myself, which is true. I want to do it all, and then when I can't I feel like I'm not doing anything. But hey, "small thing to a giant;" I can handle it.

I hope...

I'm considering lipo. Yup, this again. I'm not seeing results from the gym (and I haven't been BSing this time, I've really been going & putting time in). I don't even have to have it all over. I just want a defined neck and chin! No more double chin! No more "check" dang it! I usually only take pix from the chest up so that's all that matters. LOL

Now, for my shocking announcement:
I WANT A BABY!!
Hmm, guess that's not as shocking as saying I'm pregnant (which I am totally not, by the way), but for those that know me this is definitely a "wat" moment. I thought I didn't have a biological clock, or if I did, it was broken. And that was fine by me. But um, it's going off like crazy. I need babies! Now! Okay lied, not now unless Common comes to his senses and wants me to carry his seed today. Within a few years though. The funny thing to me is the fact that I'd resigned myself to having kids for my husband (no bastid babies here) if he wanted, but I didn't really want to be involved with them. Not sure what changed or when it happened... but it did. I probably won't hear the end of it from HWHNT. Whatever, he just better be ready to make those 2:00 am ice cream runs. *smirk*

Finally, I think we need to do a telethon, charity walk, or something. The cause: friendless people. There are people who go through life all alone. Or even worse, they have "friends" who won't tell them when they look a dayum fool. For just a few cents a day, you could help sponsor a friend for these people, so that they'll never walk out of the house like this again... *cues sad music from the ASPCA commercials*

Okay, enough of this foolishness! I can't take anymore...

The Point of It All

A few nights ago I was asked if all I write about is hair. (Answer: NO. I also blog randomness over on I'm Not A Celebrity... But I Play One on TV, but I've kinda been slacking...) I guess hair probably seems like a rather trivial thing to focus on, obsess over, write about, read about... That is, if it's never been an issue to you. For a guy I guess I can see why it seems so unnecessary. They're hardly ever scrutinized about it, unless we're talking about locs & braids in a corporate environment. But for women, and especially Black women, it's not the same. We are bombarded with ads and messages about what we should look like, so it shouldn't be surprising that we focus on that. True, beauty is only skin deep, it's what's on the inside that counts, yadda yadda yadda. But we all know people still judge books by their cover and we want our covers to say "Fabulous!" (Random sidenote: I actually judge books by their covers. Literally. If the cover doesn't grab my attention, I won't pick it up, unless it's a book I was intending to read anyway. I know that has nothing to do with nothing but I felt like sharing ^_^)

Anyway, here are my main reasons for being obsessed enough with my hair to write, research, take pix, steal pix, etc.

1. This is a matter of self-discovery for me. Since I've become conscious of the fact that I am not & will never be a "classic beauty" I've had to come to terms with my image & my body. My weight, my skin, my height, my facial features, my gait; I've learned (and am learning) to love each and every aspect of myself physically. The one thing that I've always loved was my hair. It's always been long and soft and flowing and beautiful... and permed. So while I've always been able to accept my hair, it wasn't the hair God gave me. And if I'm gonna accept the body He entrusted me with, why not the hair as well?

2. It's a learning experience. I have NEVER done my hair as much as I have in these past couple of months, especially since the beginning of this year. The most I'd done to my own hair prior to transitioning was wrapping, unwrapping, and making ponytails. So this blog is helping me keep track of my progress and what does/doesn't work for me.

3. I want to show others that it's possible to have beautiful, chemical free hair. The general consensus around here is that unless you have "good" hair, you have to have a perm. Like I always say, it's all "good" hair, as long as it's healthy! I also want to let naturals know that it is possible to have healthy relaxed hair. (I know I haven't focused much on that, but I will get to it, trust!)

So that's the point of it all for me. I'd love to get input from other natural hair bloggers/tweeters about why you do what you do!